Mistaken identity. Unreciprocated first love. Worst first impression. All the bad ingredients that connected Qing and Dayu's fate together. Both of them thought they chose the other one, for obvious reasons. But only one of them got it right. The ot...
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Two years ago
Beijing
Qing's POV
This was why I always had reluctance to 'socialize' more than I needed to. People just went and do what they thought I would like. They assumed they knew me and they knew what I wanted. And I hated it. I always had.
That's why I put barrier between me and others. Except for Min Mei and Guo gege, and my cousin Ann; I didn't think I trusted other people enough to let them see the real me. I even never let myself loose in front of my parents. Not since middle school, when I realised that I might have to go against my parents just so that I could stand on my own two feet. I maintained my control and my cool whenever I was with them, ever since.
I never laughed much or showed my real expressions , except for when I was with Min Mei and Guo gege or when I was with Ann. I never wanted people to see me being soft or carefree; because they might take it as a sign of weakness. I didn't want to be branded as just another heir to a family business. I didn't want to be seen as a prince riding my parents' coat tails. As a result, people saw me as someone cold and distant; simply said; I was unapproachable. And I didn't have any problem with that. I was fine with it. I wanted it to be that way, in fact.
And that was why I always put people at arms length. I socialized but only to a certain degree. I went to clubs and drinks with acquaintances, hooked up with girls I thought attractive enough, when I felt like it, every now and then. We would date; but I always made it very clear from the beginning that I was not looking for a serious commitment. It was only to take care of my physical needs and that's it. I could do without, if I chose to. After all, there were other 'ways' to take care of sexual urges even without a partner. People shouldn't have assumed that just because I was always seen alone, meant that I was lonely and that I needed a girl; Because I don't. The acquaintances, including Jeff Chee shouldn't have assumed that he's helping me by tricking me into coming to a date. He was way off mark. And I almost punched him for that.
I didn't know whether those people understood what I had just said when I left them at the table, but that'll be the last time that I'd attempt at being polite and accept an invitation from them; from Jeff Chee especially.
I thought that when I kept silent when people began speculating about the reason for me not being with any women for years, was that I might be into 'men', that people would get it; that Jeff Chee would get it. That it was true. I guess, some people just wouldn't get it until you really shove the evidence in front of their eyes.
They might thought that I was just putting on a show, that there's actually no 'boyfriend'. Well, I would show them. I do have a partner. I have a lover. He's just not with me, right now.
When I do find him; and mark my word; I would find him. There's no question about it. It's only a matter of time before I did.
When I found him; I would flaunt him to the world. That would silent them all. My lover would silent them all. I took a deep breath as images of Dayu flooded me. I still remembered his every features; every moles on his beautiful body. I remembered them all. And my heart swelled with my feelings for him.
