CORDIVILLA: Breathless

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Mabilis ang lakad ko papasok sa aking apartment. Narinig ko ang pagkalabog ng sasakyan ni Stan pero hindi ko na 'yon pinansin. I just want to get away from him, to settle my thoughts or to just clear my mind!

He's done nothing wrong! Iyon ang isinisigaw ng rasyonal na parte ng aking utak. He didn't harm me or anything for me to react as violent as that! Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang hindi maipaliwanag na galit at takot sa akin.

"Veil," Stan called when I rushed through the stairs.

I want to say sorry to him. To apologize to him or to talk to him, but I want to clear my mind first. I am angry for nothing, but I know I have issues deep inside me.

Suminghap ako nang may humawak sa siko ko bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto. The warm hand squeezed my arm. Pinaikot niya ako upang maharap ko siya. Mabilis kong nasalo ang mabigat at seryoso niyang mga mata. His rigid jaw softened when he cupped my face.

He looks serious and worried. My heart hurt at that. Gusto ko siyang hawakan pabalik or to say my apology but then I need to settle the problem with myself first.

"Veil, let's talk about this. I'm sorry." Paos na sambit niya at hinaplos ang pisngi ko.

Umiwas ako ng tingin sa pagpipigil na gantihan ang haplos niya.

Since the day I met him, I have always known that he's dark and enigmatic. That however I try to understand the mysteriousness surrounding him, I will never pass the mighty border in order to touch him. It's like he has walls around him and it scares me. It scares me that I could never touch him and understand the mystery in him.

"Please tell me what's wrong..." he whispered languidly.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at lakas loob na inangat ang tingin sa mukha niya.

And for the first time, he's crystal clear to me. The emotions are etched in every corner of his face. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa hindi malamang dahilan.

"Veil, talk to me please. Did I upset you? Please tell me what's wrong." Mas lumapit siya sa akin.

Buong pag-iingat ang paghawak niya sa aking mukha. Naglikot ang mga mata niya sa aking mukha na parang hinahanap kung saan ang masakti sa akin.

"I... need to think. I want to be alone for the meantime..." I said and looked away.

Kumunot ang kaniyang noo at mas lalong nadepina ang pag-aalala sa kaniyang mukha. This is what I wanted from the start. To see clearly the emotions in him because it frustrates me whenever we're in a vague situation and he continues to be dark! Hindi ko alam kung anong iniisip at nararamdaman niya.

"I want to know what's wrong, Veil. So I can do something about it." He said softly.

Nakagat ko ang aking labi at napahinga ng malalim. He should know, he deserves to know.

"I want to know you more. I am tired of s-secrets... of vagueness..." nanginig ang aking boses.

My first relationship is like a trauma to me. I was completely bruised and that heartbreaking and traumatic experience is carved deep inside me. Na kahit sa kaunting bagay na malabo ay takot na ako. Sa kaunting sikreto'y parang sinasaksak ang puso ko.

He stared at me thoroughly. His thumb brushed my cheekbone as his eyes embraced my roller coaster emotions. Marahas na pumintig ang aking puso.

His eyes, his eyes are his emotions.

Mapait akong ngumiti. Kahit pala sa gitna ng pagkalito ay titibok at magmamahal pa rin ng matindi ang puso.

"D-do you intend to forever keep that s-secret from m-me?" I asked.