Packless Monsters

Chapter 10

"You may want to loosen your grip on the steering wheel before you bend it out of shape," Loki commented dryly while you drove too fast, determined to get home. "Stark would be displeased,"

"I don't give a fuck what Stark thinks," you grumbled back, but his dry comment eased some of the tension and you were able to loosen your grip on the steering wheel. Loki would have driven you home had he known how, but he didn't, so you had to drive and not kill you both doing it. You took a breath, trying to keep your calm and temper. "Talk to me, tell me a story, something, anything to keep me from turning around and stabbing my idiot brother," you told Loki, desperately fighting for control.

Loki laughed aloud, with such mirth that you could give him a small smile in return. "While I am hardly the one to advocate against stabbing one's brother... very well, did I tell you about the time that Thor dressed as a bride so we could get Mjolnir back from the giants?" Loki asked. You shook your head and he began his absurd tale: "The giants had stolen Mjolnir and would only give it back in exchange for Freya's hand in marriage. Naturally, she refused, so Thor decided he wanted to go get it himself. So he dressed as a bride and I went with him as his handmaid. Part of my magic is shapeshifting so I disguised myself as a woman. Thor is a dumb oaf and would not allow me to use my magic on him, so he wore a wedding dress and didn't even bother shaving. Stupid oaf. We should have gotten caught then and there, but somehow the giants believed he was Freya. We also should have gotten caught when Thor decided to eat the entire wedding feast himself and drink all of mead. Somehow the giants continued with the marriage ceremony, until the giant placed Mjolnir on Thor's lap. At which point he ripped off the wedding dress to display his armor and slew them all. He very nearly killed me too, since the moron doesn't watch where he throws his lightning. Stupid oaf," Loki told you the story and you were laughing before the end of it, imagining Thor in a wedding dress.

"You can shapeshift too?" you asked him as you pulled into the parking garage under the tower. Tony's steering wheel was still in one piece. Loki nodded.

"I can, though it is not a skill I use particularly often, especially not recently," he added. You nodded, but still considered the possibilities, once you bothered him more about how it worked. He didn't seem open to sharing that information right now.

"Oh, I'm sorry I brought up your promise of protection from the day we met. You know I don't actually consider it binding," you told him. He nodded since he could hear that you weren't lying. He considered it binding and still insisted that he was protecting you, though really it was just a joke between you now. "It's just that if I told Dan you had sworn to protect me, he couldn't force you to leave under the rules of parlay. He would have otherwise," you explained. Loki thought that over, but inclined his head.

"I would have stepped in," he insisted.

"I know, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you were there. The pack is stupid, and my brother is no exception." Thankfully you had parked the car, so you didn't have to endanger Tony's car. Loki moved the second the car was parked and was at your car door opening it for you. He offered you a hand to help you out. You didn't need it, but accepted his hand anyway. You held onto it too tightly, your grip would have crushed bones, or at least bruised a human, but Loki didn't complain.

"Are you ready to tell me what that was about?" he asked when you were safely in the elevator on the way back up to the main floor. You dropped his hand suddenly when you realized your control was worse than you had thought. He looked over at you confused, and afraid he had upset you with his question. You held up a hand tipped with claws.

"Sorry, the pack upsets my control. I'm upset with them, not you," you reassured him quickly and moved to hug him instead of crushing his hand. It was safer, but you knew that Loki needed reassurance too. He relaxed under your hug and ran his hand down your hair.

"How was the movie?" Thor asked when the elevator doors opened. You immediately let go of Loki when they did. You didn't want the team to get the wrong idea that this had been a date or something. Neither you nor Loki were interested in the other like that. At all. Yup. That was totally the truth.

"The movie was great!" you told him too brightly, forcing an expression you didn't at all feel onto your face. "You guys should come next time. You'd have a blast," Thor didn't look convinced. None of the others did either and looked to Loki for an explanation. They were glaring, blaming Loki for your mood. "We ran into another werewolf on the way home," you told them quickly before they could decide to attack Loki for something that wasn't his fault.

You were soon pacing the room in rage and the hurt of old memories, that you couldn't outrun no matter how you paced or snarled. You were fighting hard for control over the wolf who was defensive and angry over how you'd been treated. You had to get control soon or the group was going to think you a monster. You knew it, and yet. And yet.

Loki stopped your frantic pacing and pulled you into his arms, holding you to him, your arms were curled in front of you, your face pressed against his chest where you could breath in his crisp winter scent. "Shh, love, shh, it's alright. You never have to go back to them, no matter what they say," he told you as he held you and let you sob out your fear, frustration, anger, and hurt over how you'd been treated. "Y/N's brother came to try to order her to return to the pack. They did things to her there...." Loki explained in a growl to the very worried rest of the team. You still owed him a proper explanation, but not now, not tonight, not when the emotions were riding you this hard. He wouldn't push or pry until you were ready to tell him.

It was then that you could feel the team both relax about your reaction and about Loki's involvement, and also get angry at the pack. "Y/N, you always have a place here with us," Cap's voice said from nearby.

"We all know about soul wounds kid," Clint added kindly.

Tony had the bright, childish, idea of making a blanket and cushion fort in the living room, despite the fact that it was around 3am. You all helped build the fort and then returned to the living room a few minutes later in pajamas. Popcorn and junk food were made while Thor and Loki just watched the antics of the team confused. "You guys have never had a sleepover?" You demanded, feeling sad for their childhoods if they'd never had this fun.

"No, it is not something that happens on Asgard," Thor replied as he helped moved the cushions into place. Everyone who had long enough hair had it braided before the end of the first movie. Loki would only allow you to touch his, though Nat tried and Tony nearly got stabbed for attempting it. Everyone was having such a good time and your spirits were lifted by the support of such a silly happy evening.

"This is different from the sleepovers I grew up with too," you told the Asgardian boys while Nat was painting your nails jet black. "Those sleepovers were a bunch of werewolf boys and the couple of girls in the pack watching stupid werewolf movies and making fun of them," you explained when everyone looked at you.

"I never did this as a kid either," Nat volunteered. She never talked about herself or her past, so you cherished the times she did, the times she opened herself up at all.

"At least we can all enjoy it now," you told her with a smile. She agreed with that sentiment, as did the others.

It was nearly dawn when you all fell asleep in a pile of limbs, bodies and blankets in the middle of the living room with movie continuing to play in the background. Your head was pillowed on Loki's chest, Thor had an arm draped over you, warm at your back. Loki would never admit it, but his head was on Thor's as a pillow. Your hand rested on Cap's chest, Nat and Clint were curled up together and using Cap as a pillow, while Tony sprawled over everyone. Bruce was somewhere among the group, though you didn't see where he was hiding. It felt like your childhood, surrounded by the safety and love of family.

Things seemed less bleak surrounded by the group of misfits. The pack couldn't make you come back, and you really were building a life here with your new friends.

No, not friends, family.