Lovely. (Analogical)

8.

Authors note: Warning this chapter involves self harm, suicidal thoughts, insecurity. Be safe.

Words: 1876

It has been a week since the incident. Virgils been critical of himself more than ever now. His friends have tried to calm him down.

He is in his room. Laying on the couch touching his teeth. Virgil shivered, he hated how he looked but Logan makes him feel better about it. Logan always makes him feel better even if it's only a bit.

It's unnervingly dark for Virgil, that didnt help him. He could describe his feelings looking dark.

Honestly he was terrified when Roman and Logan first came out of nowhere. Especially when Roman screamed upon seeing him, that he hated. Though he gets it now, Roman is dramatic and over the top.

Virgil layed there thinking of all these events. How Logan first comforted him, when he met Patton, relaxing in Romans presence. He felt lucky yet still afraid. Because he never had a normal life.

It was pitch black in the house, only a single burning candle on the table that formed some light.

Ugh, here I am laying on the couch and having an existential crisis. I never thought I would be here having friends and even a crush. It all feels too normal. When things get too happy thats when the downfall comes.

Heart rate increases. Shallow breaths.

I fucking hate this, all I am is a piece of shit who does nothing but be and look God forsaken awful, it's not like they actually care.

Low trembling.

No one has ever cared for me.

It doesn't mater anymore.

Virgil is shaking and trembling. It was midnight, he got up and went outside, along with that got a razor. And starts to speedwalk to the deep lake. Tears running down

I'm fucking awful.

Short breaths, he keeps walking faster and faster.

They wouldn't care if I'm dead.

Speedwalking turned into jogging. It was pitch black almost hard to see. And finally he made it. He fell on his knees. Tears trail down his face.

Fast heartbeating.

He grabs out the razor and cuts his arms to inflict damage as punishment to himself just for being the way that he is. Some deep some small. He couldnt help it, it was almost as if his body was doing its own thing. Inflicting pain over and over.

But physical pain didnt matter when the mental pain itself felt like he was dying. It was almost like he was doing this to fasten up the process.

He couldnt help it. Virgil used to do this just to get emotions out this time he wanted nothing more than just disappear out of existence, that is called life.

Then Virgil fainted out of blood loss.

Meanwhile Logan was waiting in their usual spot. Until he had enough and went looking for Virgil.

Logan knocked on the door. No one answered. He decided to walk in and check but Virgil was nowhere to be seen. Now he was worried.

He shivered when he started to think,

What if he had gone to...no. He must be fine.

The advisor walked outside and began looking for Virgil. First around the house. And still no sign of him.