Lovely. (Analogical)

12.

 Words: 1134

"What happend next?"

"Uh I...I ran away." He whispered,

"Elaborate, please if you can."

"Well we dated for a whole year, I was living with him. I loved him with all my heart. But then my parents barged into our home, and were trying to take me away by pushing me but when I escaped I kept running and running away until I made it to a well. And my face changed. It was stupid really I should've stayed for Remus and protect us or come back atleast, but I did nothing I just ran and never came back." He said heavily,

It was all my fault. He didn't break up with me, I was just a coward and ran away.

"Now, now Virgilius. Everyone makes mistakes, you just reacted with flight or fight reflexes and you fled the scene. It's okay to have that reactiom but why didn't you go back?" Emile asked catiously,

"BECAUSE ALL I EVER DO IS IS CAUSE TROUBLE FOR OTHERS! I can't stand it it's like whenever I step into peoples lives everything goes wrong, like how I hurt myself because living seemed worse than death and now Logan and Patton didn't get any sleep! If I went back to Remus I'm sure he would get hurt in some way and not to mention the fact it's been years and wouldn't even think of ever wanting to see me!" Virgil yelled out,

Everything he did right, crumbled back into nothing. When he cared for someone they got hurt. All he does is cause pain and stress for both himself and others.

Before he knew it, Emile was holding his hand and breathing in and out motioning for Virgil to do the same. He did, Virgil was tired of everything and anything around him. Tired of crying, hyperventalating, not being able to feel good about himself, feeling envy when others look happy, happy couples, families and tired of hurting.

Once his breathing stabilized, Emile asked, "Virgil do you want to continue or is this enough for today?"

With black tear stained cheeks he muttered, "It's enough for me, I just want your thoughts."

"I have some questions which you can answer yes or no. Will that be okay?" Virgil nodded.

"Okay, do you have intruisive thoughts about your past events?"

"Yes."

Emile wrote that down on his paper, "Okay, do you have difficulty experiencing happy emotions?"

"Yes."

"Mhm okay, I will list some things, say to me which of these do you agree to or don't agree to.
1. Always being on guard.
2. Trouble sleeping
3. Overwhelming guilt and shame.
4. Experiencing panic attacks from memories.
5. Having nightmares about events.
6. Self distructive behaviour."

Virgil sighed, he didn't want to reply but he had to, "All of the above."

Emile nodded, "Okay that concludes my questioning. What I can say is you have experienced alot of traumatic events, and you keeping emotions in led to your emotional state. You are very strong emotionally for bearing so much. Yes you made mistakes but everyone makes mistakes and that is okay. What I conclude is you have post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD)
It's one of the six types of anxiety disorders, we will need therapy sessions and some medicine." He paused for Virgil to take this information in.

So keeping in emotions is bad? So all of my problems got worse and developed into a mental disorder by avoiding and not getting help...FUCKING FANTASTIC

Virgil took a deep breath in and sighed, "Okay I want to get better doc, I'm tired of feeling like this."

"That's wonderful Virgil! I promise you things do get better eventually. We will be having therapy sessions once a week. Will that be alright?" Emile asked

"Uh about that, can we do those at my house?" He honestly didn't want to repeat going through the village and having intruisive thoughts all over again, ever since high school people stared at him and that feeling stuck with him.

"Of course what's most comfourtable! And Virgilius wait a little bit I'll be back soon. Can you do that?"

"Yes." Virgil replied suspiciously.

Emile smiled and nodded as he exited the room. Roman was sitting on a bench nearby and when he saw that Emile left, he wanted to sneak inside.

He looked left then to right and went inside. Virgil looked up and saw Roman, he sighed of relief. "Sooo how was it?"

"It was okay." Thats all he said, he didn't want to admit that he had PSTD.

"Are you sure? You can say anything to me, I promise." Roman said reassuringly.

Virgil gulped, "I have a mental disorder..." he stuttered out, not sure how Roman will take it.

But when he looked up Roman was just smiling gently, "Virgil it's alright, we will get through this. It's better to know than to not know at all."

Virgils corner of lips turned upward just a little bit. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Then Emile walked, they both looked up, Roman was already apologizing,
"I'M SORRY, I mean I apologize Doctor Emile Picani. I just wanted to see how he was is all."

Emile just patted his shoulder and smiled, "That's alright prince Roman! We are about to finish up anyways. Exit please if you will."

Roman left the room. Emile sat back down in his seat with two bottles. "These are the medicine you'll be taking. First one is to neutralize your emotions and help you stop thinking about and reacting to what happend, including having nightmares. It's this bigger bottle, it's called Fluxetine, take the pill when you go to bed and morning. This other bottle is for if you feel a panic attack coming, take your second medicine, it will help you relax and destress, it's name is Venlaminfixied.
That will be all. Next time let's meet on thursday at 2pm will that be good?"

Virgil nodded and took the medication. "Thank you doctor. I will be leaving now. But thank you alot, I now know what I'm dealing with."

Emile smiled kindly at him, "You're very welcome Virgilius. See you next time!"

Virgil waved at him and left the room, he saw Roman. "Hey dark and brooding, your prince charming is awake."

He looked at Roman confused, "Who?" Roman just sighed dramatically in utter disapointment, "Obviously Logan hes your prince charming!"

He smiled knowing hes awake. "Good, I'll go see him now. Thanks for telling me, you should probs go to your princely duties."

Roman groaned, "Duties are for nerds. But every king has duties so I should do them. Fine I'll go! And you go off to your lover!" And he ran off, leaving Virgil blushing.

Lover? I wish...