compendium | bts x lovelyz

44 | heartbeat

"I'm sorry, Mijoo. But, your health is not improving rather it is deteriorating. I believe the only way is to undergo transplant."

The doctor looks at her in sympathy as the young woman tries to put up a strong facade. But the thing is, everything she feels right now is the opposite. 

She feels shit. She feels weak. She feels like dying. She feels hopeless. 

She swallows the lump forming in her throat. Tears are forming in her eyes, ready to fall in no time. "Will it help me? W-Will I...l-live if I undergo transplant?" she askes quietly, already feeling defeat in her. 

A deep sigh escapes the doctor's mouth. Her chest feeling heavy as she watches the young woman in front of her trying not to break down. 

"Well, it's a 50/50. But, I guarantee you we will try so hard for the operation to be a success. For you to live," she answers with determination lacing in her voice. 

Mijoo forces out a small smile, muttering, "I-I'll think about it."

The doctor gives her an encouraging smile as she grabs her hands. "Mijoo, I want you to be strong, okay? You can do this. You will live, okay? Don't lose hope," she tells her. 

Mijoo fakes a smile. "I doubt that, but thanks," she mutters before standing up to leave the office. 

Once outside, she quickly rushes to the rest room as tears are threatening to fall. She breaks down the moment she arrives inside the cold lonely rest room, feeling weak and helpless. 

Tears won't stop no matter how hard she tries to. Sobbing painfully, Mijoo can't help but question everything.

Why her? Why does she have this deadly disease inside her? She's been kind and good to everyone. She works hard to achieve every goal she has without stepping at someone. So, why does it have to be her?

She wants to disappear—to dissipate into thin air. To feel nothing. To find peace. 

But, before that, she also wants to enjoy life just for one day. Maybe, just maybe, she'll die in eternal bliss.

——————

"Miss, are you sure you want to do this?"

Mijoo's patience is about to explode, but she holds it all in. She just smiles to the hairstylist before saying, "Yes, I am. I want to experience this."

The hairstylist reluctantly nods before doing her hair. Mijoo's hair is thinning and she knows it. That's why before everything else, she wants to do something she has never done before: dying her hair.

When the hairstylist was done, Mijoo looks at herself in the mirror. There, a young woman with fiery red hair is looking back at her. She looks everything and nothing like Mijoo. She looks much brighter with the way her eyes shine and her cheeks glow. 

Something inside her stirs. She hopes it is something great.

——————

Mijoo is looking at her watch as she stands in front of her apartment building. She is more bright today than she was the day before. For once, she wants to enjoy living for just one day.

You see, she was a very bright person during her high school days. She was that loud kid in every high school dramas. She was friends with everyone. She was bright too during college but also serious because of her studies. She didn't have time to join college parties and also date young people like her because she wanted to give everything to her studies.

It was a few months after graduating college when she found out about her disease. Cancer. Leukemia. 

She remember working overtime that night. She was just printing some documents when suddenly her head was feeling heavy and then, everything was black. She didn't expect it. She should've went to the hospital immediately when she saw the two bruises on her body, but she didn't pay no mind. And she regrets it. 

She remember how her mom broke down in front of her when she told her about her illness. Her dad tried to be strong for his wife and daughter by giving a strong front even though he, too, was dying inside. 

That's why after this day, she will finally find peace.  She will break free from the pain and the suffering and the broken  hearts of her parents. She wants them to also let her go.

"Mom, I'm okay. I'm just going on a small trip to think about the...um, surgery," Mijoo says, comforting her mom from her worries. 

"Oh...okay. But, sweetheart, you better call me frequently, okay? Drink your meds and also, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt," she replies, worry lacing her voice.

"I will, mom. Take care, you both. I love you," she softly tells her as she tries not to cry.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Stay safe," her mom says before they hang up.

"Um, I'm not a creep, but are you Miss Lee Mijoo?" a voice pops up beside her, causing her to jump in shock.

"I'm so sorry to scare you. I didn't mean to," the person says sincerely. Mijoo smiled at him.

"It's okay and yes, I'm Lee Mijoo. You're Jung Hoseok, right?" she says rather brightly.

Hoseok can't help but grin at her. "Yes, miss. I'm, uh, the es—I mean I'm not really an escort. I just filled in for my cousin, but yeah I'm here to uh, escort you, I guess," he answers, seemingly confused at his own words as he rubs his nape nervously.

Mijoo just gives him a grin to comfort him. "Don't worry, it's not like you're an escort for sexual favors," she teases. 

With that, Hoseok's cheeks turn pink. "No, miss. I'm not."

"Good. By the way, why are you wearing a suit?"

Hoseok looked down at his clothes and then looked up to stare at her clothes—which is just her wearing a casual dress. "They actually told me to wear a suit. I thought you're going to an event," he replies in confusion. 

Mijoo chuckled at him, finding him adorable. "Sorry to say this, but we're going on a road trip."

"A road...trip?"

"Yes. Now, will you join me to my ever so boring trip?"

a/n: hey yall! i finally got the idea to write another mijoo x hoseok story. but should i continue writing this as a stand-alone book? comment down below what yall think xx

love yall x