SCP Oneshot Book!

SCP-049-J x SCP-J!Reader ~ ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO

(Requested by InsanityBubbleBubles)
I'm so sorry I couldn't resist putting that as the title
Warning : some dark themes??? Like a brief mention of death but honestly that's in almost every oneshot I've done

"Good day, (SCP number)-J, for your information, we are going to conduct a t - are you even listening?!" the scientist snapped at you, but you were too busy making a castle constructed of rainbow cookies and cinnamon butterscotch pies. Truth be told, you did hear him, but pissing off the staff was one of your favourite hobbies. Clearly that scientist didn't bother to read your file in advance.

"HEY! " the scientist spoke again, snapping his fingers in front of the microphone, creating some loud feedback from the device. The high-pitched noise travelled into your containment cell and bounced off the walls; the frequency was so powerful you had to cover your ears in a feeble attempt to block out the noise.

"Do I have your attention now? " he said rather smugly. Glaring at him, you shifted so you were facing the observation area, where he was. "So, we'll be conducting a test that concerns you and another SCP designated SCP-049-J, " you weren't really paying much attention to the scientist's speech until he mentioned that the SCP you were going to be tested with was also a Joke SCP. You stopped fiddling with the laces on your shoe and looked up in skepticism.

"Are you sure this isn't a joke? " you internally giggled at your pun but the scientist didn't seem to catch on. "No, this isn't some kind of prank if that's what you were thinking, " he responded sharply.

Wow, you thought sulkily, did that guy get out of the wrong side of bed? Ever since they classified you as an SCP everyone treated you like you were inferior to them albeit they knew it was the opposite way around. It was maddeningly infuriating all the time to have to obey them and that was what was happening at that moment as you were being dragged towards another containment cell.

"Ow! That hurts, cut it out! " a guard had been pressing the tip of his gun to your back and if you didn't know any better you'd be saying that he was doing it as a threatening move. He even used it to stab into your back repeatedly at random intervals. You turned around and glared at him, annoyance evident on your features.

Finally, you reached the containment cell and boy, were you glad to get rid of that literal backstabbing guard. The other wasn't so bad, he kept up a friendly conversation until he had to go.

Striding into the containment cell, you took one sweeping glance of the chamber and spotted the SCP that you were supposed to meet. The thing about his appearance that captured your attention at once was the white mask similar to a bird's beak that greatly contrasted from his black outfit. He looked like something from historical times but you couldn't remember when you had come across something similar to his outfit. How you knew he was a male, you didn't know, but your senses immediately identified him as one. He was sitting at a small corner playing with something in his hands. He seemed to be so enraptured by the object that he hadn't noticed you had came in, even with the obnoxiously loud way the containment door had shut close.

"(SCP Number)-J, kindly approach SCP-049-J, " though the voice seemed like it was asking, it had some authority in it. You flinched slightly at the sudden announcement and so did the other SCP, he quietly tucked the object into a pocket and looked up.

"Is this my new patient? " he asked the speaker, pointing towards you.

"No no, SCP-049-J, she's just.. er... a playmate? you could say, " the voice said uncertainly. Anger flared up in you at what they used to describe the test but you couldn't disagree that that wasn't a proper term for it.

"Oh, " he seemed slightly disappointed at the answer. "Well, I can still make do with this. How do you do? " he greeted while offering his gloved hand.

Reluctantly, you took his hand, since you didn't want to leave that poor guy hanging. He shook your hand gently and stepped back. You two introduced yourselves and talked about some of your interests, the conversation overall was going well until the guards came in to take you away.

"No, " you said simply, staying on the floor defiantly.

"Now, (SCP Number) - "

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! You know full well my name is (Y/N)! "

"Such behaviour will not be tolerated in this facility! (SCP Number)-J, follow them or we will have to take you by force. "

Seriously, this guy is picking a fight he can't win. And you weren't about to leave a friend that you had just made with the possibility of never seeing him again.

"Over my dead body. "

With that, you threw a pie at one of the guards. He looked at it in confusion and only started yelling when he realised the thing was burning through him like acid. The other guard was panicking; he was most likely new to the job and hadn't encountered such a situation before. That thought was answered when he passed out due to too much emotional stress. The scientist that had been threatening you was standing dumbstruck in front of the glass pane.

Whistling, you took out a keycard from one of the guards and inserted it into the door slot. There was a sudden loud siren, and you turned around, realising the scientist had pressed the button for a breach, but the actual scientist was nowhere in sight.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL, THERE HAS BEEN A BREACH AT SECTOR B, EUCLID CLASS TESTING AREA. ALL PERSONNEL ARE TO REMAIN CALM WHILE REINFORCEMENTS ARE DEPLOYED TO THE AREA, " a female voice said cooly. Must've been a pre-recorded announcement.

"Excuse me sir, are you alright? You don't look so good, " the other SCP was asking the injured guard concernedly. The guard's wound was bleeding heavily and the guard's breath was laboured. You sighed, turned around, muttered a small "Alexa play despacito, " and shoved a colourful cookie into the mouth of the guard. He fell limp as soon as the cookie touched his mouth.

"Come on, you, we have a facility to escape, " you declared, tugging the other SCP along by the wrist.

"Will the guard be alright? " he inquired curiously.

"...yeah, he'll be fine. Just focus on the task at hand, we need to escape and cooperation is what we have to have now. "

"Okay, lead the way! " he said enthusiastically, having full faith in you.

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1109 words
Aaaaaaa 049-J is such a cinnamon roll in this one - he doesn't even understand that the guy has already passed and now I'm crying because of his innocence *sObs*