All I Ever Wanted

Chapter Thirty-Three

We visit all the shops. When I say all, I mean all. From Tesco to the toy store and everything in between. Phoebe and I liked the pet shop because of the cute cat on the counter. According to the man behind the desk she bit so we couldn't stroke her. Before we left the cat was lying on her side purring as Phoebe and I ticked her tummy.

We've gathered many curious stares from passers-by but I don't really care. The last shop we visited sold clocks. We ran around setting all the alarms, then we dashed away, the shopkeeper hot on our heels. If he tells anyone a couple of fairies and Pegasus did it I don't think anyone will believe him so we're in the clear there.

I'm panting a little as I stop at the zebra crossing. Phoebe holds onto my hand sucking the lollipop we brought from the sweet shop. I look right to see the car stopping. Grandmother crosses the road slowly. I scowl at her stupidity "What if another car was coming?" I ask her.

"Then he should have the decency to stop!" She yells over her shoulder.

I look to the left; just to prove a point. "Car!" I scream to grandmother.

She laughs over her shoulder. "Nope, not fooling me!"

Phoebe and I yell simultaneously "No, Car!"

The car had turned the bend too quickly, at least ten miles an hour over the speed limit. There was no way I can get to grandmother in time. I'd seen the car and known this. All we can do is warn her. If that car hit her there would be no ambulance, only a police car with a number for a recommended funeral home. The cars brakes screeched.

But Grandmother thought it was a joke designed to scare her. I flashback to when it was Phoebe on the road. But that time was different. That time I could save her. this time I couldn't. 

I scream as the car fails to stop in time. I scream with my hands pressed over Phoebes eyes so she can't see what’s happening. Phoebe screams too, she's unable to close her eyes. There glued open in shock. It’s okay, she can't see, my hands are in the way. But who’s covering my eyes? 

I see everything. When grandmother finally hears the brakes. When she turns her head. When she starts to run. When her car makes contact. When the car dents. When grandmothers lifeless body flops onto the concrete. And I see the blood.

So much blood.

It runs like a river of red across the concrete, pooling at the edges of the road. Some drips down the drain, drop by drop. Like a leaky tap out of a horror movie. It covers the blue bonnet of the car little sprinkles flew off and fell like rain.

The most damaged thing is grandmothers Pegasus costume. Its completely dyed red, no lilac remains. If there is a heaven then surely grandmother is sitting in it laughing about the fact she died in a Pegasus costume. Or maybe she’s grumbling to herself that she will have to walk around for all eternity in a horse costume.

 I smile a little. Only grandmother could manage to go dressed as a flying horse.

 But then reality sets in. Phoebe has collapsed on the floor in a heap, sobbing manically. I'm almost glad, that way she won't have to see the red seeping from grandmother’s body. I sink down and comfort her. But I selfishly wish someone was comforting me too.

I don't ruffle Phoebe’s curls. I don't want her to associate the action with this scene. Instead I rub her back taking solace in the fact that her sobs are easing. I leave my mind blank. I just sit on the curb rubbing Phoebes back.

The slam of a car door brings me out of my emptiness. Instead I'm filled with anger. Anger against this man I barely know. Who was he to disobey the law? Who was he to take away my family? I rise helping Phoebe up too. I keep her pressed against me so she still won't see the destruction. The devastation.

I walk upto the man fully intent on shouting at him, screaming like a crazy person. His face is tierd with bags beneth his eyes. He's typing the emergency number into his mobile whilst walking towards the front of his car so he can decide if he needs an ambulance. But thats not what stops me stops me. Its an ear splitting scream coming from the car. The man drops his phone and runs back to the car.

There's another emergency occurring. "Phoebe. Get in the backseat of the mans car, look only straight ahead." I order emotionlessly. I lock down, avoid the pain. I don't want to but right now there are other pressing matters on my mind. I walk to grandmothers body. I close my eyes, scoop her up and place her by the side of the road. I take my daisy crown and place it on the chest.

I rush into the car and get in the backseat with Phoebe. I push the man away and say calmly "Drive. We've got to go."

He looks at me with a mixture of emotions all of them flash across his face in turn, sympathy, bewilderment, compassion, surprise, gratefulness. He doesn't move the car. "Go!" I shout, pain cracking my mask of emotionless calm. This time he obeys.

I feel the emotions ready to break free. The tears brim in my eyes but I fight to keep them under control. There is nothing I can do for my grandmother now. There is something I can do for the man in this car.

Forgive.