I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 15

"How did you know?" Rami's voice is raspy. He sounds like he hasn't drunk water in days.
"That you were here? I went to all the places I remembered you went with her. So was this place. How long have you been here?" Joe takes off his shoes before placing them behind him. Slowly he lets his feet sink in the water. The cold water sent shivers down his spine. 
"I walked here straight from the hotel. So since 5, I think." Joe moves the sleeve from his jacket so he can look at his watch.
"That was almost ten hours ago. It's freezing out here. You should have called me."
"I didn't want to bother you." Rami has moved his gaze to the water below them as he doesn't want to see the disappointment in Joe's eyes.
"Rami you would never be able to bother me. Especially not with this. Next time just call me. I don't care if it is in the middle night or something. Let someone help you for once." Rami stays silent. He turns to the left facing away from Joe.
"Why were you up so early anyway?"
"It all happened again in my dream. I saw everything happen again." Rami voices nearly cracks but he manages to cover it with a couch. 
"Rami, you told me those nightmares stopped."
"They did. But on a day like this, I can't help it. The crash was exactly twelve years ago, Joe Twelve fucking years ago. I should have never let her drive that damn car."
"You need to stop blaming yourself Rami. It wasn't your fault, alright? Nor was it Afya's fault. It was the fault of that stupid truck driver that tried to kill some random people. But he is locked up now."
"But still. It should have been me. Her life was so much more worth than mine. I never deserved to survive. I sho-"
"Rami look at me. None of that is true. You both deserved to live equally. You are a wonderful person. One of the most unique persons I have ever come across. It is an honour for me to work with someone like you. And besides that, you're an amazing friend. Don't ever think that your life is worth anything less than that of someone else." Joe has been looking at Rami while talking. Although Rami hasn't looked back directly Joe can see the tears in Rami's eyes. He knows how much Rami hates to cry in front of others so Joe just rubs his back as a way to comfort him.

After a while, Joe gets up and puts his shoes back on.
"Shall we go back to the hotel?" Rami nods also getting up. They work their way back to Ben's car. When they are almost in the right street Rami collapses. Joe is quick enough to catch him before he falls on the ground. Joe does his best to carry Rami the last bit to the car. He straps his friend up. He knows that Rami will wake up in a few minutes. Joe hopes his friend passed out because of lack of food and water like he had in the past. While starting the car he calls Ben.
"Joe, finally. Are you at the hotel?"
"No, I am not. Put me on speaker by the way. And call Gwil over. I am just starting my way to there. Rami just passed out. He hasn't eaten or had something to drink today. Can both of you go to the hotel now? I need you to carry him to his room and stay with him until I come back with food. I know exactly what I need to get him. Alright?" Gwils voice is barely understandable but Joe can make a 'we're on our way' from his words.

When Joe arrives at the hotel he sees Gwil and Ben waiting outside. They both rush to the side of the car to get Rami out. Without any noticing difficulties, Ben picks up Rami carrying him bridal style. For a moment Joe whishes Ben would carry him like that. But then he realizes the task he has.
"So, if he wakes up tell him I will be right back. There are water bottles and crackers somewhere in his room give him that as soon as he wakes up.." Joe tells Gwil before racing away once again.

***********

Not that much later Joe is in front of Rami's hotel room door. He knocks on the door. Ben is the one to open it. He grabs Joe's shoulders just like he did that morning. He looks deep in Joe's eyes.
"It's time to calm down, alright? Rami is safe and awake. There is no more need to worry." Ben says. Joe falls into a hug with him. As soon as Ben's arms wrap around him he can feel himself getting calmer. 
"Thanks." Joe closes his eyes taking a deep breath before walking into the room.
"Hey, Rams." Joe grabs a peach ice tea and a certain type of chips out of the bag he is carrying.
"You remembered?" Rami looks at his favourite food and drink before looking up at Joe.
"I did. Now eat." Eagerly Rami starts eating. Here and there Joe grabs a chip from the bag. Ben and Gwil are on the side of the bed looking at the scene in front of them. Neither of them says anything. As they don't want to interrupt the friendship between Rami and Joe.

After eating everything Rami sits up again, leaning against the headboard.
"I think it is time for me to tell you what this is all about." Rami looks over at Ben and Gwilym.
"You shouldn't feel pressured because of all that happened today. Just tell us when you are ready." Gwil says giving Rami a smile.
"I don't know if I will ever be ready. You have the right to know." says Rami. Joe rubs a hand over Rami's back trying to get him calm.
"So, back in the days, I had a best friend called Afya. We did everything together. You could say we were inseparable. Near the end of filming the Pacific, we had a week break and she flew over so we could do a small road trip together. We both had our drivings license. But I never let her drive because I was afraid something would happen. She begged me every time and one time I gave in. We were driving on this road with a total of four lanes. So two per direction. We driving for us on the most right line. Suddenly a truck driving in the opposite direction came crossing over the lane next to us towards our car. He hit the side of the car where Afya was sitting." Rami stops talking for a second to take a deep breath.
"The car kept spinning and spinning and we ended up upside down against a tree. I remember being trapped between the airbag and the roof. I wasn't able to move at all. It stayed silent every time I called out her name to ask her if she was alright." Rami stops again rubbing his eyes with his hand. He pinches the little bridge from his nose trying to get himself calm again.

"After was seemed like ages the police and an ambulance arrived. They got her out of the car immediately. I needed to wait until the fire brigade came to break open the car. The ambulance with her was already on their way to the hospital. Because I didn't have any severe injuries the police took me in their car. When we arrived she she she..." Rami looks at the ground beside the bad. His whole body is shaking. His breathing is quick which makes him slightly lightheaded. All three of them stare at Rami for a few seconds. Joe has wrapped his arm around Rami by now. He carefully pushed him into his chest. He could feel Rami's shirt staining his shirt, but he couldn't care less.

"Do you want me to continue?" Joe asks. Rami nods while closing his eyes.
"So, when they arrived she had already passed away. The impact knocked her out. She broke several bones in her neck and in her back. It was impossible for her to survive. I got a call from the hospital the next day. They asked if I could come and pick up Rami. So I did. Rami had not many injuries. A few bruised bones. But that was it. I sent him to a psychologist to make sure he could handle everything. The day of the accident is today exactly twelve years ago. That was why everything came back today." Joe told the whole story in one take. Ben has tears in his eyes from the story. Gwil, on the other hand, walks over to Rami. Grabbing him in a hug.

"I am so so sorry to hear Rami." Ben finally says. Clearly lost in the situation. Gwil still has his arms around Rami when he looks up to ask a question: "What happened to the guy in the truck?"
"What was his name again? Paul Prenter, right? He was in a coma when they found him. They also found his plans to kill himself and take other people with him. So after he woke up from his coma he was put into jail." Joe explains. Gwil lets go of the older actor. His face loses all colour quickly.
"Everything alright Gwil?" Ben asks. Looking with a confused look at his friend.

*********

Hey,

I cried writing this. There is a whole box of tissues sitting on my desk. Is there anyone who wants one?  Pattonandwaffles and I have enough ice cream for everyone. 

Anyways, I got the question through Instagram twice asking if I am a native English speaker. The answer is: no, I'm not. I'm Dutch actually. Three years ago I could only introduce myself in English and that was pretty much it. Now, look what happened lmao.

I'm going to edit the first few chapters to remove some spelling and grammar errors. Because I'm submitting this story for the Wattys. 

Have a nice day y'all. I love you!

Xx Itsametaphorjoe