I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 60

"You don't trust me enough to let me sleep with him in one bed? We are engaged for heaven's sake which means we're past that stage where you have to be afraid that I would go out and randomly fuck guys. Anyways, I do trust you. So, I'll sleep on the couch." Joe's mind races with questions. Does Ben really think he would cheat on him? Joe was convinced that they already closed this chapter. Gwil looks at the two with slightly raised eyebrows.
"No, it's just. Never mind, I can't tell you right now becau-" Ben rubs his hands over his face while talking. He shakes his head ever the lightest. 
"Guys, I don't want to be a bother. If you're going to fight about this, I will leave." Gwil stands up from the couch. He honestly doesn't know where he is going. As long as he is away from all the people that hate him. He would probably wander around the city all night and crash in Central Park in the morning. Maybe he could just become friends with one of the homeless people who sleep there all the time. It feels like they would judge way less than the people that he thinks are his friends. His hand hovers above the doorknob when Joe calls his name.

"Gwil and Ben, you two go to the bedroom. I'll grab a blanket and make a bed from the couch." Joe says.
"I can sleep on the couch too." Gwil says before eyeing the couch. He knows that it is too small, but maybe if he hikes up his knees he will be able to get a few hours of rest.
"You'd never fit on there, silly. Don't worry about me. I've slept on couches before." Joe doesn't wait for either Ben or Gwil to protest and instead disappears into the hallway to get some blankets. Without saying anything Ben walks over to his bedroom. Gwil quietly follows. He doesn't know what to say. Deep inside he feels horrible that his best friends are fighting because he has his stupid problems. Ben grabs some clothes and shoves them into Gwil's hands before disappearing into the bathroom.

While Gwil is putting on the shirt Ben handed him there is a knock on the door. The door opens and Joe carefully sticks his head around the door. When he sees that Gwil is dressed he walks in.
"Oh good, Ben gave you clothes already. Wake me or Ben if you need anything tonight." Joe smiles before walking over to the set of drawers. He gets out some clothes before looking back at Gwil.
"If you want to talk about anything you know that you can always come to me or Ben. You can trust the both of us." Gwil shoots him a thankful smile.
"Thanks Joe." He says before quietly sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Goodnight, Gwil." Joe says before walking over to the bathroom. He knocks on the bathroom door before trying to open the door. He sighs loudly once he feels that it is locked.
"Goodnight, honey. If you want to talk, please come to the living room." Joe nods towards Gwil before walking into the living room.

Ben walks into the bedroom again. He took off his jacket and walks bare-chested towards the bed. From under his pillow, he grabs a shirt to put on. Gwil can't help but look at the muscles flexing in Ben's chest. Suddenly he gets this urge to go to the gym and work out for hours. Gwil looks away just in time for Ben to not notice him staring. Without saying anything Ben gets under the covers. Gwil does the same. They lay next to each other for minutes. After a while, Gwil turns his head to the side. Only to see Ben laying there with his eyes open staring at the ceiling.
"I'm sorry." Gwil says. Ben keeps his eyes on the ceiling.
"What for?" He asks. Gwil stays silent for a few seconds before starting to talk: "For creating a fight between the two of you. I shouldn't have accepted Joe's offer to stay here." Ben turns his head to the side. Gwil does the same so he can look at Ben's face.
"It's not your fault Gwil. I'm just being an absolute dork." Ben says. 
"Then talk go to your fiance." Gwil makes sure to emphasis the word fiance. Ben shakes his head before closing his eyes for a few moments.
"I can't. He will beat himself up when he knows the reason behind this." Ben says. He turns his head to look at the ceiling again. 
"What is it?" Gwil tries to make eye contact with Ben but the latter keeps starring at the ceiling. He takes a deep breath before starting to speak: "I've had occasional nightmares for quite a while. Some start off like normal days and others are about my father. All of them end up in Joe leaving me for some reason." Ben can't believe he told someone. One side of him mad that he told Gwil, the other side of him is relieved. It's something he had been carrying for a long time. After the first few nightmares, he didn't tell Joe because he was convinced that they would go away. After that, he was afraid that Joe would make a big deal out of it.
"You need to tell him some time Ben. You're going to marry that man. That means you've got to trust him with everything." Gwil had put the pieces together in his head within seconds. This had to be the reason why Ben was so quickly with thinking that Joe cheated on him with Rami. Besides, it is probably the reason why Joe is sleeping on the couch instead of Ben.
"If I was you I would go into the living room right now and give him a goodnight kiss. You can tell him that you want to wait a little longer before telling him, but just stop the fight." Gwil says before pulling the blanket up to his chin.

It takes a few minutes for Ben to find the courage to get out of the bed. He almost tiptoes into the living room. He doesn't want to wake Joe if he already fell asleep. He finds the opposite. Joe is laying with his eyes wide open on the couch.
"Hey." Ben says as soon as he is close to the couch. Joe looks up at Ben with a sad smile. He pushes himself up so there is room for Ben to sit.
"I'm sorry." Ben says before pulling Joe into his side.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have accused you of not trusting me." Joe says before placing his head onto Ben's shoulder.
"You did nothing wrong. It's me who did something wrong here. I know we need to talk about it. We will but tomorrow, for now, both of us have to sleep. Don't worry about it anymore, okay princess?" Joe nods. Ben smiles before letting go of Joe. 
"Goodnight Benny." Joe says before pulling Ben into a quick kiss.
"Goodnight sweetheart." Ben lets his forehead rest against Joe's before quickly connecting their lips again.

***********

Hey lovies,

I don't have much to say today. I didn't have lots of time to edit this because I was busy with a very big essay. I hope it's good enough anyways.

Have a nice day/night y'all!

Goodbye,

Xx Itsametaphorjoe