I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 61

Gwil had been awake for hours when he heard a whimper coming from his left. He turns to look at Ben sleeping next to him. Another whimper, this time a little louder. Ben's chest rises and falls in a quick tempo. Gwil waits for a minute to see if Ben makes any more sounds. This time the soft whimpers are replaced with a small yelp. Ben starts tossing and turning around. A scared expression paints his face. Gwil jumps out of the bed and jogs into the living room. Joe lays fully curled up on the couch. He has rolled himself into the blanket. Gwil squats down next to the couch so he can place his hand on Joe's shoulder before shaking the ginger softly. Joe groans loudly before opening his eyes a little. He raises his eyebrow when he sees Gwil in front of him.
"Sorry to wake you, but Ben is having a nightmare I think." Joe suddenly looks very awake. He immediately rushes into the bedroom. With doing so he leaves Gwil behind in the living room.
 

Once Joe runs into the bedroom he sees Ben hugging the blanket close. Tears and sweat have stained his face.
"No, no. Leave Joe alone. Joe doesn't deserve this." Ben mutters. Joe jumps on the bed and starts shaking Ben. Who jolts awake after a minute. With his eyes shut tightly he moves away from Joe as far as possible without falling off the bed.
"Ben, it's me, Joe. There is no need to be scared anymore. I'm here." Joe had grabbed Ben's hand which Ben immediately yanked away.
"Honey, open your eyes." Joe tries again. Ben curls up into a ball as far away as possible of Joe.
"Benjamin, look at me." Joe says harshly. He knows the words will trigger something, but he needs Ben to know that he is okay. Ben's eyes flutter open. He lets out a shaky breath once he sees Joe hovering above him. Joe doesn't say anything but instead pushes Ben into his chest. He plays with Ben's hair until he feels the breathing of his boyfriend slow down again.

"What was your dream about, sweetie?" Joe holds Ben a little tighter when he feels him tensing up in his arms.
"I- can I tell you tomorrow, please?" Ben sounds so desperate that Joe can't do anything but nod.
"Can I ask Gwil back in here? He woke me as soon as he noticed that you had a nightmare." Joe asks before he kisses Ben's forehead to let him know that it's okay.
"Are you going to stay here tonight?" Ben whispers.
"We will try and make it fit. Otherwise, I will sleep on the ground right next to the bed. In that way, I'm still close." Joe says before brushing Ben's hair one more time. After that, he slides himself from under Ben to walk into the living room. He finds Gwil sitting in one of the armchairs. His eyes are fixated on his phone screen.
"Thanks for waking me. I calmed Ben down. I'm sorry to keep you waiting you can go back to bed now. The only thing is that Ben asked me if I would stay with him." Joe rambles while he looks at Gwil who looked, in Joe's opinion, awfully tired.
"You two fitted with Rami in one bed so why not give this a go? Otherwise, I will sleep on the couch." Gwil says before standing up from the chair. Silently they walk into the bedroom. As soon as Joe lays down Ben crawls into his arms. Both of them don't even take up half of the bed. Gwil smiles at the two before laying down on the empty side of the bed.
"I'm sorry I woke you, Gwil." Ben says while looking up from his place on Joe's chest.
"Oh, I wasn't asleep. I was euh euhm." Gwil curses softly under his breath. He looks away from the couple. Joe had been starring at Ben, but now looks at Gwil. He frees a hand from around Ben to place on Gwil's shoulder in an attempt to turn him around.
"Hey, what is the matter?" Joe says. He shares a worried look with Ben before looking back at Gwil.

Once a small sniffle is heard Ben frees himself from Joe's arms. He walks around the bed before squatting down next to Gwil's side. He removes Gwil's hand from in front of his face.
"Gwilly, look at me. It's okay. You can talk to us." Ben speaks softly which immediately makes Joe feel calm, although Ben isn't even talking to him.
"I have thought about breaking up with Eve." Gwil looks away from Ben once again. Without being able to do anything against it, Joe lets out a small gasp. He presses his hand in front of his mouth to suppress the sound. 
"I thought you were still madly in love with her?" Joe quietly asks.
"I am. I really am." Gwil says quietly before turning around to face Joe.
"She is in danger when she stays with me. I can't bring the love of my life in danger." He says. His voice sounds truly heartbroken. Ben has walked over to the other side of the bed again. 
"What are you talking about Gwil? Why would you bring her in danger?" Ben asks. It stays silent for a bit. Both of them can see that Gwil is stuck in his own thoughts.

"Paul is free. He is out of jail Joe. Paul. Paul Prenter." Gwil has difficulties keeping his tears in. Joe sits upwards within seconds.
"P-p-paul?" Joe says while having difficulties to speak. Ben looks from Joe to Gwil and back. He has heard the name before, but he can't remember when. Gwil nods. Small tears glide over his cheeks towards his chin.
"What has Paul to do with you and Eve?" Joe asks. Gwil explains the whole story about his parents being in jail once again. This time he can't keep his tears in. Halfway through the story, Gwil started shaking. Ben shared a look with Joe before scooting over to hold Gwil in his arms.
"Now that he is out of jail I am scared that he will take revenge on my family, me or on Rami." Joe doesn't know what to say. He heard the vague story about Paul's earlier crime. It was something he kept from Rami as he didn't want to give Rami even more stress. Ben finally linked the name to Rami's story with Afya.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Gwil." Ben says. He pushes Gwil into his chest to hopefully calm him down a little. Joe sits petrified in his place. He doesn't know what to do or say. His mind is racing with various questions. How can he protect his two best friends from the man that tried to kill one of them and tried to ruin the others life?

"I'm sorry." Gwil mutters. He looks down at a non-saying part of the blanket.
"For what exactly?" Joe has grabbed Gwil's wrist. He gently rubs his thumb over the side of Gwils arm. It is something that usually calms him down. So he hopes that it will have the same effect on Gwil.
"For crying like a baby here." Gwil mumbles. Ben looks at Joe for help when he doesn't know what to say.
"Gwil, you have seen both of us at our worst times. You helped me through a panic attack. I usually try to hide those from everyone, but you were there for me and helped me because Ben wasn't there." Joe says. He lifts Gwil's head a little so he can look him in the eye.
"You have seen me breaking down because I was too scared of coming out and I was madly in love with Joe. You have seen us both cry like babies so there is no reason for you to be ashamed." Ben had interrupted Joe, which the latter didn't mind at all. He was more concerned about Gwil at the moment.
"You have a reason to cry. You have a reason to be scared too. And the problem is that we can't really do anything about it. We all have to be careful. What are the chances that Paul still knows who you, Rami or the rest are?" When the name rolls of Joe's lips he cringed slightly. Rami and he never said his name out loud. They usually would call him trashcan or something similar.

 "What about we catch some sleep? Tomorrow we can talk about the situation with Eve. All of us need some sleep to think clearly." Ben says. Joe nods while Gwil quietly hums.
"Would it make you sleep better if you could hold onto someone, Gwil?" Ben asks. Gwil shyly nods. He doesn't look at the two but instead looks at his own hands.
"That can be arranged. What about you lay down in the middle of the bed?" Ben says. Gwil immediately follows his suggestion. He lays on his back in the middle of the bed. Ben crawls over to the opposite of the bed from where Joe is sitting. He motions Joe to lay his head on Gwil's shoulder.
"What about you and your nightmare?" Joe asks before scooting over to Gwil.
"Gwil needs us now. I can wait until tomorrow." Ben says before placing his head on Gwil's shoulder.
"That is nice of you, sweetheart." Joe pecks Ben's forehead quickly before laying down on the opposite side of Gwil. He finds Ben's hand and intertwines their fingers to let them know that he is still there.
"You two are the cutest thing ever." Gwil mumbles before drifting asleep.
Joe mouths an 'I love you' which is received with a kiss blown by Ben. After that, they both lay their heads down to slowly fall asleep.

***********

Hey guys,

It's finally Christmas break! Man, do I need that. I handed in an eighty page essay in yesterday. I am finally done with that monster!

Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter.

Have a good day!

Goodbye,

Xx Itsametaphorjoe