I'm going slightly mad // Hardzello

Chapter 31

The sound of soft knocks fills the bathroom but they don't seem to find their way into Joe's head. His hands have found their way towards the jacket he is wearing. They are trying to find anything they can grip tight. His whole body is shaking. All he can do is cry there is nothing he can do to stop it. Due to his uncontrollable sobbing he doesn't even notice that the knocking has stopped and the voice of Ben isn't heard anymore. All he can focus on are the memories from the last few months that pass by. Each of them sent a new wave of emotions through his body. He shuts his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. Slowly all the muscles in his body tense up even worse than before. Joe's body is rocking back and forth as his mind is trying to process everything that happened in the last few months. One of his hands let go of the jacket and flies towards the ground in an attempt to get his anger out.

Joe doesn't notice the door that is flying open. Once he feels a pair of arms around him he tries to push the person away. He doesn't even try to see who it is. It doesn't matter who it is. Nobody can see him like this. All he wants is to be alone. The person tries to approach him again but with all the power he has in him, he pushes the person away once again. He can feel how weak his body is just from the small push he did. When there is nothing left to do he gives up his fight. He lets the arms wrap around him and pick him up in one swift motion. Joe doesn't even make the effort to hold on to the person. He lets himself get carried away. The person lays him on the bed before laying down next to him Arms are wrapped tightly around him. Joe can feel fingers slowly trace figures over his stomach before the person grabs Joe's hand and leads it to his own chest. Where he places Joe's hand on his stomach. His own hand on the top of it.

"Breath with me." The person whispers softly in his ear. Now Joe is positive it is Ben. He tries his best to follow Ben's breaths. Slowly he feels himself getting a little calmer. He is able to think properly, but tears are still streaming down his face and his body is shaking slightly. Ben uses his free hand to circle his thumb over Joe's stomach. After a while, Ben let go of the hand on his own stomach and uses it to play with Joe's hair. He can feel Joe crumble under his touch. It doesn't take long before the older actor slowly returns to his calm self. Although his mind is still racing his body has stopped. Both of them sit in silence and just enjoy the presence from each other.

Ben pushes himself from underneath Joe after around half an hour. He squats down beside the bed to look at Joe.
"I'm going to grab something from my room and I need to call three people. I'm not going to leave you, alright? I just need to fix some things. If you would like you can go to sleep and I'll be by your side as soon as you wake up." Joe nods, his eyes are still watery from crying so much. Ben leans in to give Joe a kiss on his forehead before he grabs his phone and leaves the room. When he shuts the door behind him he let out a shaky breath himself. It hurt to see his boyfriend like that. He knows his own words were the trigger for everything that has been bottled inside Joe for weeks but it still is sad to see that the American actor hurts himself like this. Ben grabs his phone and searches for the right phone number. He hits call and waits for the person to answer.
"Hello, sir. My name is Ben Jones. I am sorry for bothering you so late in the evening but I have a quick question. My boyfriend just had a major panic attack and I calmed him down. He hasn't slept well in the past few weeks. I sometimes use these sleeping medicine you gave me. Can it do any harm if I give him one of the pills so he can have a proper night rest?" Ben reads the descriptions on the bottle out loud after he is asked too. After asking some questions about Joe, the doctor agrees with giving Joe one of the sleeping pills. Ben ends the call before dialling the next number. This time it is the phone number the police officer gave him. He instructed Ben and Joe to call as soon as they had any question.

"Hello, sir. My name is Ben Jones." Ben explains everything that happened really briefly so the officer would know which case he was talking about before he asks how it is possible that his dad is wandering the streets of London. As he searches for his son.
"Well, sir. We had no clear evidence to keep him locked up."
"You did take pictures of our bodies. With all the bruises and wounds? Why can't that be used as evidence?" Ben asks as he tries to stay calm.
"Because we don't have evidence that he did that."
"I'm sorry sir. But your colleagues came in to see us chained to the ceiling with him beating the crap out of my boyfriend. To me, that seems like enough evidence." Ben feels himself getting irritated but he tries his best to stay calm. It stays quiet for some time on the other side of the line.
"Well, some of my colleagues looked in the case and decided that the evidence wasn't valid. I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do for you at the moment."
"So, you're just going to wait until he succeeds in hurting us again? He already tried to tonight. What kind of system is this?" Ben asks. It gets more and more difficult to stay calm.
"I'm sorry, sir. There is nothing more I can do." Before Ben can let himself get angrier he ends the phone call. He changes into some more comfortable sleeping clothes before grabbing the pills and heading out of his room. He knocks on Gwil's hotel room. Which immediately opens. Revealing Rami, Lucy and Gwil standing behind it.
"I just want to know that Joe is alright. So you don't have to worry about him." Ben wants to walk away but Rami stops him.
"Did you call the police yet?" He asks.
"Yeah, that asshole told me that the evidence wasn't valid enough to lock him up. And that there is nothing to do about that." Ben clenches his fist as he feels his anger boiling up again.
"That's bullshit." Rami exclaims. Before either of them can say anything Gwil starts to approach Ben.
"I think you and Joe both need to rest. We will talk about this tomorrow if you want. For now, catch up some sleep." Gwil says while placing a hand on Ben's back as he pushes him slightly towards Joe's room. Ben nods before walking in that direction. He opens the door with the card he grabbed from Joe's dresser right before he left.

Joe is laying in bed with open eyes he is staring at the ceiling. Ben grabs a water bottle and fishes out one of the pills in the bottle. He shows Joe the etiket so the latter can see what Ben is giving him.
"Hey, take this. These are sleeping pills. I will take one too. We both need to sleep more than we did the past few nights." He hands Joe both the bottle and the pill. Joe sits up so he can take it before handing the bottle back to Ben. Who does the same.
"Cuddle with me? Please?" Joe asks when Ben walks away from the bed again.
"I will. Give me a second to brush my teeth." When Ben comes back he lays down on the bed again. Joe buries his head in Ben's chest immediately.
"I am sorry." He mumbles.
"What for?" Ben asks as he wraps his arm loosely around Joe's shoulder.
"For my breakdown. You shouldn't have seen that." Joe whispers.
"You can't control your emotions, Joe. You always bottle them up. Sometimes you just need to let go of them. I am more than happy I was here to help you." Ben leans down to give Joe a short kiss. Joe eagerly kisses back before letting his head fall back on Ben's chest. Within a few minutes, they both fall asleep with the little pills slowly kicking in.

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Hi lovies,

I don't have much to say this time lmao.  Thank you for reading this chapter! I love to read the comment y'all leave on each chapter. They really make my day! Thank you for all the support you guys gave me. I couldn't have done this without you.

I love y'all.

Goodbye,

Xx Itsametaphorjoe