Incomplete

Chapter 1, Alexander

I look outside my bedroom window, it's raining. Some kids are jumping and splashing water at each other on our driveway. It's weird how happy they look. I guess life has been fair to them. The boy tumbles onto his back. One of the girls gets a worried expression on her face, but it fades away quickly as the boy starts laughing his lungs out.

My eyes wander to the red brick house on the opposite side of the road where my bestfriend Max lives. I wonder what he's up to. It's Thursday night so he could be at a party, but I don't think so. Max isn't the kind of person who would go out on a weeknight, without me that is. On the other hand it's the last week of summer break, but still, he would have told me.

I sigh and lay back on my bed, pondering if I should call him or not. It's not like I have any shit to do at home. But my dad's not here so it's pretty peaceful. He travels often due to his job and I like to make the most of the time when he's out of town.

Before I can get to any decision whether or not I should call Max, my phone starts ringing on my white desktop on the opposite side of my room. I close my eyes for just a few seconds before pulling myself out of the bed to see who is disturbing my evening. Picking up the phone, I answer with a simple "Hello".

"Hey! So I was thinking we could do something, like right now. You aren't up to something are you? Oh! My car broke down so that's not an option and my mom and siblings are home so we can't be here either. How about-"

"Who is this?"

"You don't recognize my voice? Anyway, it's Rachel. So about tonight-"

"Rachel... who?"

"Um, Rachel from last Saturday? You know, when we got a little friendly?" This Rachel chick giggles after letting out the last sentence, without sounding even a little bit disturbed with that I don't seem to remember her.

"Right... so how do you have my number again?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure my dumb drunken ass gave it to her at the party last week.

She laughs before answering me. "You silly boy, everyone at school has it. But tonight?"

"Not gonna happen. If there wasn't anything else I think I'll go." And with that I hang up and shut my phone. I will never understand how girls can talk so much and so fast. It was like Rachel's mouth was running a fucking marathon or something.

I pull my wooden chair out and sit down, placing my head between my hands, scanning myself in the mirror on my desk. Black circles under my bright steel-blue eyes. It's funny how they are always shining even though the rest of me look like a freaking zombie. I tilt my head a little bit to the left to see a tiny scar on my right cheek. I got it the same week my family became a disaster, when I became a walking disaster and when the whole world became a fucking disaster.

***

The next morning my door suddenly flies wide open. I'm laying in my bed with only my black boxers on. My little brother steps inside and heads straight to my mess of books on the floor. He kneels down and starts swinging and throwing the books all over the place, creating an even bigger mess than there already was.

"What the fuck man?" I sit up in the bed, analyzing what heck he's doing, but too tired to actually stop him. Who am I kidding? I don't even care if my rooms a mess. My brother turns his head towards me and gives me a tiny smile before continuing his project of... throwing books? "Seriously Jonathan? What's up?"

He finally stops but the frustrated look doesn't leave his face for even a second. Jonathan runs his hand through his blonde silky-ish hair before taking a deep breath.

"You're aware that school starts on Monday?" He is now looking me straight in the eyes.

"So?" I still don't get his point here.

"So, I need your science book from last year!" And with that Jonathan is all over my books again.

"Didn't you just say that school starts on Monday? It's Friday you idiot." I shake my head at my brother's stupid actions and lean back against the wall, looking out of the window. I have noticed that I do that a lot. It reminds me of that I'm still alive, things are happening outside this house and that my family and I aren't the only ones with problems, even though it sometimes feel like it.

"Exactly my point!" Jonathan groans, not taking his blue eyes off the books on the floor.

People always point out that we look alike and that we could easily be twins, same eyes and nose. I'm just bigger with my athletic body and have brown and longer hair. And well, my lips are much more fuller. Jonathan just have two pink parallel lines across his face.

I don't understand why he takes school so fucking seriously. Sure, it's important to be educated, but I mean, school doesn't start until Monday and Jonathan is only starting his junior year in high school. It's not that big of a deal. He needs to chill the hell out.

"Aha, found it!" Jonathan jumps up onto his feet and studies me for a minute before walking across the room back to the door he entered from. "You have an important year ahead of you. Senior year is gonna define your future, you know." I just sigh in response and turn from the window to look at him, with my lips pressed in a thick line.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes it does, you can't just throw your life away."

"You're not my mom. So stop fucking lecturing me with what I can and can't do."

"Just trying to help, Alex," Jonathan keeps his voice soft and calm. He always does that and I hate it. I have literally never seen him explode. Or actually this one time in middle school when I kissed the girl he had a crush on. But he got over it quickly as always.

Jonathan takes one last look at me before shutting the door closed behind him. 

***

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