Incomplete

Chapter 47, Alexander

A shitty Saturday.

Well the day itself isn't actually so bad, the boys and I are all hanging out for the first time in what feels like forever. We're at our favorite spot, the cliff. Max and I share a tree that we're leaning against. Dylan and Liam sit in front of us with a tree of their own.

But I'm feeling shitty. Shitty over the past, shitty over that dreadful night, shitty over my own stupid actions I can't undo.

I try to get myself away from the gloomy thoughts by focusing on the boys' conversation.

"But if you had to choose," Dylan says after blowing out the smoke from the cigarette.

"I would never choose between the two of them even if my life depended on it," Max declares which makes Dylan frown.

"You can't deny that Rachel is pretty hot," Dylan continues this lovely debate. He throws the cigarette on the ground and smashes it with his shoe.

"That didn't just come out of your mouth," Max says in disbelief with his eyebrows jolting upwards.

"What?" Dylan says and looks at all of us one at a time, stopping at me. "Alex agrees with me, he wouldn't have fucked her otherwise."

"The fuck dude, not you too. Can't everyone just forget that it ever happened? And for your record, I would never fuck her." I throw my hands in the air but can't help the smile that's creeping onto my face. I've missed these idiots talking about normal teenage stuff. Dylan seems to finally be over his ex-girlfriend, Max is having the best time of his life with Georgi and Liam has found a boy he really likes. He still hasn't told Max and Dylan about Oliver but he will soon enough.

"Why are you smiling?" Max studies my face suspiciously.

"What do you mean?"

"You had your typical 'Alex's sad face' just a minute ago and now you're smirking like a little bitch." Max gestures to my face. "If I didn't know better I would think you have a thing for Rachel."

"I don't have a 'Alex's sad face' or whatever you said."

"Oh, but you do," Max gives me a knowing look.

"Alex's reaction just confirms my argument," Dylan states and Liam rolls his eyes.

"You are jerks," Liam sighs. "All of you."

"Agreed," I say and Max nods. Dylan's jaw drops.

"I can't believe you guys. You can admit that you're jerks but not that you think Rachel is hot?" Dylan shakes his head and I catch a glimpse of his tattoo behind his left ear. It says Legends never die and was his second tattoo. Mary, his older sister, did it to him as a present on his 15th birthday. I have always adored it.

"Make a move on her then if you think she's so hot," Max suggests and plays with his lip piercing at the same time as grinning.

"You know what, maybe I should," Dylan utters with a serious expression and stands up.

"Wait what? Where are you going?" Max wonders.

"To find her, you idiot." And with that Dylan stamps away, leaving the rest of us shocked.

"What just happened?" Liam questions with widened eyes.

"Dylan became nuts, that's what happened," Max tells him, laughing.

***

I'm peacefully enjoying my pasta carbonara later that same Saturday. Dad made the food earlier today when I was out. He's pretty good at cooking. He has improved a lot during the past three years.