Incomplete

Chapter 33, Alexander

My eyes feel heavy as I try to open them up. Nothing makes any sense in my brain. I'm pretty certain that I'm laying on a floor, on whom's floor is another question. The surface underneath me feels cold and hard against my skin. It's uncomfortable.

"Alex?" I hear a voice I recognize say, but can't quite connect who it belongs to. Someone lifts and shakes my head. Probably the same dude.

"Are you with me?" What kind of question even is that? I think I let out a laugh, not entirely sure, but I have to at least have a smirk on my face.

Suddenly the rough surface I felt a moment ago disappears and I'm floating in the air like a little bird. It would be nice to be a swan. Soft and fluffy. But wait, they can't fly, can they? Who even fucking cares? I apparently do, since I'm the one cogitating about it.

I try to open my eyes yet again, they literally feel like they weigh a ton, but they stay closed. My thoughts drift from one to another until someone pushes the off button and my body relaxes.

***

"Dude, I already told you all I know," Max utters and I sit up on the couch to look

who he is arguing with. My head is immediately hit by a burning feeling which makes me grimace. It also takes a few seconds for my eyes to catch up with my surroundings. When they finally do, I scan the environment and come to the conclusion that I've slept over at Max's place where I'm sitting right now.

The last thing I remember from yesterday is that I bursted here and dragged Max to the party Isabelle had told me about. A few recollections from here and there from the party flashes through my mind, I just can't link them together. Fuck this is frustrating but nothing new exactly. I guess I just had a couple too many shots, not a biggy.

"So he got to that condition all by himself?" My brother's voice startle me and I manage to knock something over with my leg. Max's and Jonathan's gaze snap right at me. I give them a half smile. They exchange a look with each other before rushing towards me.

"Did I miss something?" I ask and bite my bottom lip, a little nervous at their reaction. My head continues to pound in the most annoying way ever.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jonathan questions with a severed voice. My eyebrows fly up from his choice of words. The word 'hell' doesn't belong to Jonathan's regular vocabulary. "Or were you thinking at all? Because it certainly doesn't seem like it!"

"What do you mean? I partied?" I smirk at him and he groans.

"Doing drugs isn't exactly what I would refer as partying!" Jonathan raises his voice and runs a hand through his blond, quite short, hair. Confusion takes over me and I try to sort my memories together. Drugs? Where would I've gotten those from?

"I think you're mistaken kiddo. I mean, you haven't even once been drunk so it's understandable that you don't know anything about it," I mock him but his words slightly haunt me. Drugs, really?

Max who has been standing with his right hand underneath his chin, analyzing the family conversation, steps forward and puts a hand on my shoulder. I give him a wondering look and he exhales.

"As far as I know, alcohol doesn't have side effects like you had yesterday," he states with an apolitical smile.

Okay, so perhaps Jonathan was telling the truth, but why make such a big deal out of it? People deal and do drugs all the time.

"Dad will be so pissed when he hears about this," Jonathan says. My head snaps up and I meet his blue ocean eyes. How dare he even think about mention this to dad.

"Dad will never find out," I establish and stand up from the couch. Small dots of different colors fill my vision for a moment but fade away quickly.

"He has already been considering sending you to boarding school," Jonathan informs me and I take a step closer to him, furious. "I mean look at you! You have blood on your cheek, you do drugs, you drink like your life depended on-"

I press my palms against his chest and push him hard. He falls over to the floor. Jonathan looks shocked and even a bit scared. I breathe rapidly in and out as Max darts hastily in my way to prevent me from doing anything more stupid.

"Calm down!" Max shouts and glances behind his shoulder to make sure Jonathan is okay. Jonathan nods but still looks anxious. Then Max turns his gaze back to me and studies me for a second. "What the fuck is up with you!?"

"I've told you, I-"

"Don't want to talk about it, I know! But you can't keep it all inside yourself and act like a fucking lunatic!" Max yells straight to my face and I have to admit that the words he throws out sting like hell. "Is this about Amy? Because ever since you've never been the same again."

"Don't you dare say her name," I spit through my teeth and knot my right fist.

"Or what? You're gonna fight me too? Seriously Alex, grow up! I know what happened to Amy sucks. It sucks on so many levels and nobody should have to go through something like that. You have every right to be sad about it. But it was three years ago and life goes on. What happened has happened and there's nothing you can do about it. So if throwing your life away really is what you wanna do, then go ahead, but then I don't wanna be a part of it!" Max calls out and I freeze.

All the color of my face has been washed off. The air from my lungs have suddenly vanished. It feels like someone is stabbing me right in my stomach, over and over again. I can't think. I can't process any of the words Max just said to me. Regardless of all my emotions, I still know deep inside my heart that he's right.

Max watches me for a minute before asking "Are you okay?" with concern written all over his face.

I can't manage to form a single word on my lips so I just nod. Dizziness starts to take over my body and I extend an arm out to steady myself against the wall.

I catch a quick look at Jonathan. He is still sitting on the floor, the only difference now is that his eyes are watery and a tear comes streaming down his face.

After that, it doesn't take long until I collapse on the floor.

***

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