Incomplete

Chapter 35, Alexander

We stay like that for awhile, just standing there with Lacey in my arms. I feel completely broken but somehow Lacey's touch makes me feel like I'll be better and that there is hope for me.

"I miss her so much," I say with my lips quaking as I let out the words. My eyes are now dry from all the crying.

"I know... "

After I fainted earlier today I got the urgent need to tell someone, anyone about everything that's fucked up in my life. I couldn't bare to hold it inside me for another second. Then Lacey was there, looking so concerned and perfect which made me blurt everything out.

"Do you mind driving me home?" I ask after a couple of minutes passes.

"No of course not," Lacey answers and takes a step back which leaves me with an empty void. We begin to walk hand in hand back to the sushi restaurant where we abandoned Lacey's car. I climb into the passenger seat and Lacey starts the car.

The drive doesn't take more than 15 minutes. We move to the front door where we stop. I look down at Lacey, she has pity written all over her face and it makes her look even more beautiful.

"Bye Alex, take care now," she tells me goodbye and gives me a quick hug before turning around to walk back to her Volvo. I watch her leave me and already feel hollow, standing there by myself. I bite my bottom lip and kick a stone.

"Stay," I whisper quietly but she's already out of hearing range. I clear my throat and raise my voice this time. "Stay," I nearly shout.

Lacey stops in her tracks and throws a glance over her shoulder. She looks at me shocked and perplexed.

"What?" Lacey questions with furrowed eyebrows.

"You could stay, if you want to," I repeat myself and scratch my neck with my right hand.

"Okay, sure," she smiles at me.

"Really?" I wonder with a high pitched voice which makes me sound like a little kid on christmas. God I'm pathetic.

"Yeah, I can stay," Lacey nods and makes her way back to the front door which I unlock. As soon as the door opens, an angry Jonathan comes in view.

"Where the hell have you been!?" he yells. Is the word "hell" a new trend of Jonathan's? "I've been worried sick here. You collapsed on the floor and then just ran away!"

Jonathan inhales hastily until his gaze shifts from me to Lacey and he immediately starts to blush. Lacey's eyes are now wide open and I'm a little afraid they will pop off.

"Oh, um, I didn't know you had company," Jonathan gives us a half fake smile and bursts away. I sigh and look back at Lacey who still stands frozen.

"Sorry about that," I say and gesture with my head towards the space where Jonathan just were. "He can be a little... dramatic sometimes."

"It's fine, he's just worried about you," Lacey responds. I nod even though I'm tired of Jonathan looking after me all the time. He needs to remember that I'm the older brother.

"Do you wanna watch a movie? It would be good to get my mind off things," I suggest and study myself in the mirror placed in the hall. Crap, I almost look as terrible as I feel right now.

"Yeah sure, what do you want to watch?"

"Anything," I frown and move my eyes away from the mirror.

"Okay I'll choose one, do you like romantic comedies?" Lacey asks and we walk to the living room. She sits down on the grey couch and picks up the TV console. I take a seat next to her.

"Yeah, they're okay."

Lacey scrolls through the netflix movies looking concentrated. She finally chooses one and gives me a questioning look. I shrug and she hits the play button.

The movie isn't what I would typically pick but I guess it's okay. Lacey watches the movie intensely and I glance over at her every now and then. She's pretty cute when she's into something and I can feel myself truly smile for the first time today as I regard her.

Lacey catches me looking at her and lifts an eyebrow in the air.

"Are you even watching the movie?" She has a tiny grin on her face.

"I'm trying but you're distracting me," I reply and meet her brown eyes, crap she's beautiful. Lacey blushes and turns her gaze back to the screen. We stay silent for the rest of the movie but I still can't take my eyes off her for too long.

It ends with a cliché happy ending. I think Lacey really enjoyed the film.

"So what did you think?" I ask her, even though the answer it's pretty clear. My mood is much better and I've almost forgot all about this morning's incidence.

"It was good, I liked it," Lacey confirms my assumption. "Did you like it?"

"Um, it was a bit cheesy for my taste," I state, trying to come up with something I saw and remember from the film, my head wasn't really in it.

"I guess it was a little cheesy, but I enjoyed it anyway," she assures me and we traipse upstairs to my bedroom which is a complete mess, as always. We just stand there staring at each other.

"So..." I begin but don't know where I'm going with it. I scan my room and ponder on what to say next. "Will you stay over for the night?" I blurt out and feel... embarrassed? Nervous? What the fuck is wrong with me? This is so unlike me.

Lacey seems surprised and opens her mouth to speak but closes it again. Can't blame her, I'm nearly as surprised as she is. At last she nods a bit uncertain and a smile spreads across my face.

"We have a guest room if you want to spend your night there," I tell her and she just blinks at me. "Or we could bunk in my bed. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time."

"I can sleep in here," Lacey says with a smile which I gladly return. God I'm acting like a hormonal teenager.

"Um, so do you want to like... borrow some clothes to sleep in?" I ask unsure. This is the second time I have a girl over and the last time it happened I was unconscious.

"Yeah that would be great."

I open my dresser and take out the same outfit she borrowed the last time and toss them over to her. She captures them and stares at me for a minute without saying anything.

"Why did you tell me about... your past, earlier," she questions carefully and a knot forms into my stomach.

"I-" I try to speak but any words won't come out. Why did I tell her about that horrible night? I glance down at my tattoo on my wrist and sigh. "I wasn't planning on doing it," I let out and tilt my head back up to meet her eyes. "After last evening and this morning I... I don't know, just had the urge to tell someone. And something about you was comforting and... this probably doesn't make any sense." I shake my head.

Lacey studies me for a moment before saying, "It doesn't always have to make sense, I'm just glad that you felt like you could talk to me."

"Right," I mutter and turn back to the dresser to get my own shorts and t-shirt that I sleep in. Then I make my way to the bathroom and change and brush my teeth, leaving Lacey in my bedroom. I take another look at myself in the mirror before heading back to my room. My eyes aren't as blood shot as they were three hours ago but I still look exhausted as hell.

When I enter my bedroom again, Lacey is wearing my Northwood High School hoodie. I had forgot how good she looks in my clothes. I walk past her and lie down on my bed, too exhausted to say another sentence. She quickly follows my action and I can feel the bed shift as she lies down next to me.

"Good night Lacey," I manage to get out of me.

"Good night Alex."

My eyes close and my breathing becomes even as I fall asleep.

***

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