Guilty as Charged

19- Sigh

After my mom stuffed some mochi in Jimin and after Jimin went home, it was 9 pm.

I was feeling sad. And I didn't even know why I was sad. I thought I had it all under control- under my straight face but Yohan asked "Are you OK?" when I went to his room to get my Nike shoes back.

"Of course, I'm OK. Why are you asking?' I lied at the first part.

"No reason. It's not like you have been sighing for like eternity since dinner." Yohan fricking added a time limit to eternity, which awakened my inner grammar police.

But I don't say much.

"Just because I'm sighing, does it mean that I am not OK?" And my question was a relevant one. Sighing is just loud breathing and snoring is breathing that screams.

"Brother of mine, I live with you. Your presence is so invisible that if you even talk to me, I think you're having a mental breakdown. My long point short, it's weird when you're not quiet." Yohan punched some numbers in his calculator while saying that, I assume he's doing his homework, which is unbelievable judging by his grades.

"You know what's weird? You finding your x's instead of your y's." That was me, trying to be cool with my brother who's cooler than I am.

"You are a disgrace."

As if I didn't know that, Yohan.

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*Next Day*

It was already Wednesday, which means I have three full days to prepare for till the weekend. I was calculating so, during the first period.

Hoseok will be here, in Korea, this weekend. Not sure which of the two days. But I like to be safe than sorry, so I would count Saturday as my goal. Until then, I would practice what I would say to Hoseok. I would build up a tougher image to show him who he's yelling at.

Hoseok is not like Jimin. I know because I was once their friend. Jimin lets things go, whilst Hoseok will make up for every little detail. Jimin forgives easily, while Hoseok remembers why he's mad and he would not take an apology.

"Sorry is just a word. I've heard it so many times that it lost its value. At least to me." That's what Hoseok said, I remembered it. That's exactly why I didn't say sorry to him when he left, knowing full well that he would punch me right on the nose if I went in front of him.

Namjoon didn't show up today. I smirked to myself to the thought of him skipping school because of how I destroyed him yesterday.

It's just a thought though. He could be sick or even dying at home, which is why he's absent. But I like to be happy over my imagination.

To be honest, the day was pretty boring. If Namjoon was here, I could at least look at his handwriting or listen to him reading off of the English book to the class.

None of which happened. I worked on my lyrics in the meantime. Not like I didn't pay attention in class because I did. I even wrote down notes on Economics.

I still don't understand what GDP is.

I only worked on the lyrics during the five minute breaks that we get after each period. I've got to admit, I'm a pretty damn good song writer.

I'm putting my feelings in the park after the early morning moon

Will it be in me?

This song is headed to you

I hear the sound of film from the moon at night.

That's all I wrote. Maybe it's not the best, but I can make it work. Lately, the moon at night lights up my whole room, reminding me of my grandpa.

Only I don't cry anymore.

I was lost in my thoughts, like I always am, when a tap on my right shoulder snapped me back into reality.

It was Jimin, obviously. Because no one ever would come talk to me. When I turned my head and looked at him. I immediately remembered what he said to me yesterday afternoon.

"Why come to a person that everyone absolutely hates?" I asked him, looking at the time. We had four minutes left of break time.

Jimin looked puzzled at first, as if he didn't remember or know what I was talking about. He sighed afterwards, followed by his response to my question, "You know I didn't mean that, Taehyung."

That feeling of dislike about something made its way on my mind again like that day at KFC. I didn't know what I was disliking something for. I didn't even know what I was not liking!

"Mhm." And so I responded, still trying to figure out what I'm disliking at the moment.

"I... was just... frustrated at how you just went away that other day while lying to me. And then, yesterday you seemed to be doing the same thing... I don't know. I got mad all of a sudden, OK?" Jimin was giving me an explanation that I didn't want and he took Namjoon's seat while doing so.

Two more minutes of break left.

"Yeah, OK, go away now, I'm busy." Honestly, I wasn't. I was just trying to avoid Jimin at all costs, I don't know why, but I just don't like it when he's around me.

"Busy doing nothing?"

"Yeah, busy doing nothing. Now fuck off."

"No, it's fuck on."

That phrase seemed familiar to me. Either way, I still think that phrase is dumb and has no meaning whatsoever.

It was Yoongi who said it.

I looked at Jimin with bored eyes, trying not to think about what fuck on can mean.

"What?" Jimin whined as if saying fuck on to somebody is completely normal nowadays.

Maybe it is? Don't know.

"Break's over. Go back to your seat." I pointed at the clock in front of us. I had no idea how happy I was to hear the bell.

"Oh man, that's too bad. I thought we could hang out more." Jimin whined more, getting off of Namjoon's seat. He immediately dropped on the seat afterward.

"Oh wait, we can hang out more. IN LUNCH!" He banged his fist on the table, expressing how happy he was.

What a dumbass.

"Actually..." That was me trying to tell Jimin why we shouldn't hang out more in lunch.

Did he listen? No.

"No actually's. I'll be back during lunch. Don't you dare move from your seat." He slapped my head and speed- walked to his seat.

I'ma move from my seat.

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