Human!Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice) x Reader

CHARACTER QNA

Author: Hello everyone!! It's me, Anon.

Author: And say hello to these dorks (the main characters)

Lydia: Hii
Beej: Sup
Y/N: I am all of you simultaneously, reality is a simulation

Author: OKAY let's get started

Reader: BJ - grow a beard. This isn't a question. Do it. Bitch.
Betelgeuse: You know, you'll never get anyone to do things when you say it like that. We've never even met! Also no.

Reader: Roomates - Give me your names my sweetie babs. Loving that side character life.
Roommate 1: Hi, my name is is Stephen
Roommate 2: I'm Steve
Roommate 3: Sup, I'm Greg
Stephen: No you're not
Greg?: Yeah, I'm Steph

Reader: Lydia - I fucking love you mate. Marry me? Be gay and marry me!
Lydia: This is very forward but I'll say yes if I can feed you to a sand worm (call me)

Reader: Author - love you mate, but are you gonna add Barbara and Adam?
Author: Yes! I will be adding them in a later point in the story and I have an idea for them. I plan on making this kinda long so bare with me. (love you too mate)

Reader: BJ-How do you feel about having (Y/N) as a gf? Do you ever have deja vu about being a dead guy and forcing Lydia to marry you? How do you feel about animals? Do you have any you particularly you don't like?
Betelgeuse: Whoah that's a lot of questions. I love having her as my girlfriend. I know we just met but it feels like I've known her forever. We don't need to discuss the dead guy thing, I'll have an existential crisis about the fact that I'm a fan fiction character made up by a teenage girl. I love animals. My favorite animal is a snake and I definitely have to say I'm not too fond of sandworms.

Reader: Roommates- How did you meet BJ?
Steph: I met him at a party and introduced him to Steve and Stephen. He thought our names were cool and we became bros.

Reader: Lydia-How long have you been shipping them together?Also, what courses do you take?
Lydia: Pretty much since she moved in. I'm a parapsychology major (I study ghosts)

Reader: Author-Who's your favorite character? Have you seen the musical?
Author: I've actually never thought about picking a favorite character from the movie or the musical. My favorite in this story is definitely Lydia though. I have seen as much as I could through clips and bootlegs on youtube. I really want to see it in person but I can't drive yet ,well legally that is.

Reader: Author- Do you remember what Beej is named after? because I feel like it was something to do with stars.
Also
DID YOU KNOW THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST STORY EVER?
Author: YES OH MY GOD YOU HAVE CALLED UPON MY NERD TRIVIA SHIT. He's named after a star-system and has a sister named Andromeda. Also AWE THANKS FHDJSLSJDK I LOVE YOU

Reader: BJ - also, why do you have a Daddy kink? Like I wanna backstory.
Betelgeuse: Dominance plus caring. I like that daddy could be used as a term of submission but also of endearment. There can be no dominance without trust.

Author: Ahh a kinda wholesome answer to our final question. With that I would like to say thank you.

Also a final note. If you or someone you know is interested Bum8le is writing a story based in this au which is a LydiaxReader. It is absolutely hilarious and amazing so far and you guys should definitely check it out.