Genesis

Inmate #15436-32

I sit on the bench outside the court room while I wait for the sentencing. I can't handle another dramatic ass scene like last time so my mom and brother went inside for me. Knowing that it could be anywhere between 2 to 10 years is tearing me up inside. A burning sensation in the back of my throat starts to rise so I quickly get up and run to the trash can at the end of the hall and start throwing up what seems like everything I ate these past few days, which hadn't been much. I lift my head up and wipe my mouth with some baby wipes that I had tucked in the zipper part of my purse. It may be best that I wait there a little while longer just in case I get that sick feeling again. The court room doors swing open and I look up to find my family. My mom had the biggest, fakest smile she could muster up plastered on her face and that's when I knew that the news wasn't gonna be what I hoped.

"The court has decided that sentence of 7 years, 5 for the possession of a fire arm on a felon and a year for each bullet found in the gun. This sentence shall be served concurrently with hope of parole after 5 years." This was the moment that Gen would scream or fight or act a damn fool so I'm glad she decided to wait outside. I give her mom a weak smile confirming that I was gonna be good and then stood up to be placed in handcuffs. Her brother leans over the seat telling me to keep my head up and all I could say was to take care of my family . I didn't even notice her mom walking out , before I heard a loud cry. It was Genesis. My heart shattered into pieces as Darren took off out the court room to get to his sis. My woman and my child needed me and I can't be there for them. I can't be there for a long time and that's what's fucking with my mental the most. I can make situations, people, things disappear. But I can't make her pain, her tears, her hurt disappear. I wanna kick my own ass. Who the fuck beats a murder charge but still end up in a fuckin prison cell.

"Gen you gotta get up baby you gotta eat something." My mom opens my curtains and place a plate on my side table. She leans down and kisses me on the forehead before picking my baby up and kissing her on the cheek. It's been a week since I seen my nigga. A week since I heard his voice. I've been sick to my stomach wondering if he's okay, are they treating him right, is he keeping his head up.

"Ma have you heard anything ? Has Darren heard anything?" She looks at me and shakes her head no. I know they had to transfer him to a prison from the jail but i should've heard from him by now. I flip the covers back and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Grabbing my robe off the floor i hear a buzzing sound on my dresser. A number I don't recognize flashes across the screen and in my heart I knew that was him. I damn near break the phone trying to answer.

You have a Prepaid call from Jaycion an inmate at the Greenville correctional facility. You will not be charged for this call. To answer press 5 to ignore please hang up.
I think I broke my pointer finger hitting the number 5.
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There was a brief moment of silence that neither of us wanted to break. Just hearing her breathing was more than enough for me. But her silence turned into cries and that shit I just could not handle. To know that I was the cause of those tears might as well been 2 bullets to my brain. I rather die than to cause her the pain she's in now.

"Baby." The word came out sounding more like a whisper than I had planned it too. I sounded like a straight bitch.

"I miss you so much bae." She struggled to get the full sentence out before her voice cracked. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even shit without crying."

"I'm so sorry bae I swear to God I am. It's still me and you right?" I was looking for reassurance. I wanted.... no no no. I NEEDED to know that I still had her. That we were still a team.

"Of course daddy. It'll forever be us." Her voice came out a lot stronger and a lot more confident than earlier.

"How's daddy's princess doing?" That question nearly took a nigga out. The fact that I haven't held her, kissed her toes, and missed her birth was more of a punishment than any cell.

"She's great. A little feisty tho. Ass always crying when she don't get her way. I wonder where she get that from?"

"It's crazy how I can hear ya eye rolls and you know damn well she got it from yo ass."

"How you holding up in there? You get along with ya "bunk buddy?" She laughs a little to hard.

"Aye shawty. That sound too damn close to butt buddies and AINT none of that shit poppin off in here. But yeah he iight . He keep to his self and I keep to mine."

"That's good I wish I was ya cell mate tho. You could wake me up in the middle of the night and snatch my ass off my bunk and fuck the shit outta me." I can hear her bite her lip and it made my dick jump. To keep from niggas looking at me strange I change the subject.

"I got a new tattoo."

"Oh yeah what is it"

"Analeyah Jaylynn" the line got quiet so I kept talking. I wanted to use up the whole 15 minutes. No seconds wasted. "I missed her birth, I missed her first cry, I missed her first yawn, her first smile. It's my way of letting her know that even though I'm not there, she's always with me.

"Baby that's beautiful. I lay in bed and talk to her for hours about you. How she has your smile, your dimple, your eyes. I literally birthed a 7 pound version of you. Sometimes it gets on my nerves. But most times it..... you have 60 seconds remaining.

"Bae I love you iight. Y'all come see me Saturday. I love y'all ."

"We love y......." the phone hangs up and I break. How did My relationship get to this point. It's now nothing but random 15 minute calls and weekend visits. I gotta stay strong for Ana and for her daddy but I can't lie, that shit killing me inside.