Genesis

Who's it gonna be?

The trip back to Virginia seemed like it was longer than the trip to Atlanta. The girls tried to pry out details of my night but my mind was elsewhere. Did he really propose to me? Am I whiling to forgive him? FUCK NO. I can't and won't give him a chance to hurt me again. Last night was a good bye fuck. That was it. Atleast that's what ima gonna try to convince myself. The plane landed a few hours later and we were on our way to the wedding rehearsal my wedding is tomorrow and my stomach feels like it can shit bricks. Pulling up to the venue I see that my mom and aunts have been busy decorating. It was beautiful. Our theme was black love so it was black roses and hearts on the white walls and the chairs were white with velvet black bows. The tables were round except for the wedding party table and they were black with white napkins and silver utensils. It was breath taking.

"It's almost as beautiful as you." Marcus whispered in my ear. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzles his face in my neck. "I missed you." I turn to face him and give him a quick kiss on the lips. The pastor clears his throat to get our attention. It was time to rehearse and since it was bad luck for the bride to play herself I asked Chanica to fill in for me while I sat and watched with the wedding coordinator. The groom and his best man would walk in to let's get married. Something up beat for them and then the lights would change and and the music would slow down to That's Why I Love you. Once they are all lined up and in position the bell ringer would burst through the door and ring his bell screaming  "Bride is Coming the Bride is Coming."  As the song Golden played by Chrisette Michele My daughter and his niece would walk down the aisle dropping black and white rose petals. My mind drifted to the night of the hotel room and with the conversation going on in the room about who stands where who don't wanna walk with who, all I could imagine is him in between my thighs. I must've been zoned out for awhile because once I snapped back into reality all eyes were on me. Apparently they asked me a question that I won't paying attention too. The night was coming to a close and it was time to say goodnight to my husband to be. He walked me to the car and pulled me into one of the tightest hugs he's ever given me.

"Baby I love you. I'll make you happy. No matter what has happened up until this point, it doesn't matter. Because once we say I do, it'll be a new start." For some reason I felt like we both knew that we were up to no good these past few days and made a silent agreement that after today all that shit stops.

"I love you Marcus. I really do." He smiles and opened up the car door for me. In a way I did love him. He did save me. But the question was, was I in love with him?  Me and Ambi and Lynea went to get our nails and eye brows down before heading over to my mothers house. That is where we were going to get ready for the wedding. I sat up with the girls for awhile listening to them tell me how lucky I was to have 2 niggas love my crazy ass and how they wish they were in my shoes. Truth is , they don't. It's stressful loving 2 men who are complete opposites. 2 men that would take a bullet for me any day. If I didn't want bags under my eyes I better take my ass to bed soon so I said my good nights and went upstairs and crawled into bed with my princess. With all the chaos around me she was the only thing simple in my life. I get myself dozing off when a soft knock tapped on my door.

"Come in."  The door creaked open and my brother strolled into the room.

"Hey baby sis. How are you feeling?" He sat in the chair that was beside my bed and kicked his shoes off.

"I'm good." I'm a mess.

"You sure?" He quizzed.

Absolutely not. " yes I'm sure.

He wasn't buying a damn thing I was saying.

"Look Gen I know I made certain shit tough for you. And for that, I apologize. I only wanted to keep you safe . But being around you all my life I pick up on a few things and I for one , know your ass ain't good." I stayed silent because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth then my whole soul would pour out.  " I stepped back and let you lead your own life. I felt I owed you that much. But I will tell you this. Follow your gut sis. I see you struggling with whatever been having your attention lately and that's cool. But you getting married tomorrow. To a square as nigga might I add , but married nonetheless . I just want to make sure you happy. That's all I care about." He got up gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead. It's 3:00 in the morning and I'm drained already. I let my thoughts bounce back and fourth between the two men of my heart until I fell asleep.