Selena's POV
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"Okay Selena, first of all, I found it. I found the engagement ring. Second, I'm giving it to you. Third, don't worry. It's just a promise ring. I agree that we're too young, and we've been through so much. So fucking much, and as much as I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I can't. I just can't. We can't. I love more than anything in the entire world, and you know that. But, I honestly don't even think it's legal to marry yet," Nash explains to me, as I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him close to me as I lean in for a kiss, but he pulled away, casting a frown upon my face.
"I can't..." he says.
"What? Why? Bu- I thoug- why?" I stumble upon my words, not knowing what to do or say.
There's a flash of humor in his eyes as he tilts his head back in laughter. He laughs a beautiful laugh that I can't seem to shake off. I look at him, confused, wondering what happened.
Why the hell was he laughing?
"What?"
"I'm kidding baby! Of course I'm going to kiss you, but I was supposed to be the gentleman here, and that being said, I was supposed to be the one kissing you. Not the opposite."
Images of the night I saw Ashley and Nash kissing flash in my head as I sit and stare at the concrete. I do what I do best- run. Run away. It's all I do.
I went to the park he took me to when I first met him. I ignored all of the text messages, calls, voicemails, and him calling out my name as I ran away.
I just needed time. And Alex well... I still never told him. Then again now that I think of it, Nash and I aren't even together right now. He never asked me out again. And the more I feel like he assumed I was going to just run back into his arms without an explanation, the more afflicted I seem to feel.
As if on cue, I get a text message.
Alex. The name flashes amongst my screen, as I slide to unlock my phone.
* Hey baby ;* *
*hi* I respond, simply.
*is something wrong?*
*kinda* I admit.
*well tell me what's going on babe*
*i can't do this.*
*cant do what?*
*this. us. I can't do it.*
*why not?*
*is there someone else?* he continues
*yes and no.*
*explain.*
*well I dated you after I broke up with this guy, Nash, and now he's back in my life. But we aren't dating again, but I'm scared that if we somehow do which is highly unlikely, then I don't want you to be effected by it.*
He remains silent, and doesn't respond.
*hello?* I add.
*im still here. just trying to figure shit out :p*
This time I remain silent.
Five minutes later, I find myself texting back a quick sorry, then going to Nash and I's messages from a while back.
I smile at the ancient thought, but then it's immediately followed by tears and heartbreak.
What about Ashley?
I didn't know her well, but I don't think I want to.
My thoughts are broken when I see Nash running towards me.
I attempt to run again, but he grabs my wrists and turns me to look at him. I try to avoid as much contact as possible, but it's not. Not possible at all.
"What the fuck? What's wrong? Babe I thought we worked through this, I thought we were together."
"We aren't together. We didn't work through shit. And stop calling me babe," I snapped. I couldn't. I can't. I'm done.
"Wh- wa- why? I- I- I though- bu- how?" He stumbles on his words
"One, you never even asked me out since we broke up, two, at the hospital, I was comforting you. Nothing more, nothing less. You seriously don't think that I'd get back together with you after what you did, without any explanation. And thi-"
"But you tried to kiss me.." he cuts me off.
"Yeah I know I did and I'm sorry that I was in the moment and being stupid bu-"
"What did I do?" He cuts me off again.
"Don't play that bullshit with me. You know for damn sure that I saw you and Ashley at that party."
"Ashley? Are you serious? You really thought I'd ever in my life get back together with that whore?"
"First off, you dated her. If she was such a whore and you knew that, then you shouldn't have dated her. Second, you guys kissed. She gave you a lap dance. She was all over you, and you guys did god knows what else when I ran off."
"Wh- what? Are you crazy? We NEVER had sex ever since I met you, you changed my whole world around ba- Selena. You have to know that. Come on..."
His eyes are filled with hurt. But I still can't help but feel like he availed me.
"I don't know. It sure seems like you were enjoying her company," I spat.
"No baby, I'm serious. I promise. You are mine forever, you're my one and only no matter who else says what. I love you, okay? Honestly. I've felt so different about you more than I have anyone else, you have to realize that. Before I met you, I was a complete dick. I used to fuck around with girls every single night, and they all meant nothing and then I saw you. You seemed so different than all of the other girls, and I admired you so much for god knows what reason, and now I know why. You've changed me so much, and I can't bare to lose you. I love you so so much. Please forgive me? I won't hurt you again, I swear it. I'll do anything for you. Please please take me back? Please?"
"Fine", my voice comes out stern, "but I still need to think about taking you back," I continued.
His eyes, the color of the deep blue that I've become so used to, were once again filled with hope and joy.
"I love you so much," he pulls me into a tight hug, not wanting to let me go.
"I love you too."
"Don't say too, it just seems like you're agreeing with me. I need to know that you love me. I need you to reassure me that you love me."
"I love you," I say meaning it. No matter how many times this boy breaks my heart, I always seem to find myself loving this man unconditionally.
I wish he knew that it wasn't as it seemed...
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A/N haven't updated in forever sorry! But I'm moving, shortly, so I haven't had the time and I've been sick and I've had school and I've just been so busy so I'm sorry but I'll try and update again soon.
Let's get this to 6K reads!
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xx Selena Grier xx
