What If?// WDW BxB: Corbyn-Shots

Day 7|| Wait For Me- Jarbyn

*Suicide, bolded words before
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Summary: It's all your fault. You didn't give him a reason to fight. You're so fucking stupid! Why couldn't you just make the damn promise?!

Corbyn's POV
" You can't go," the whimper trembling within my throat. Ice-blue glistening as I looked to him, Jack unable to meet my gaze.

" I have too. You watch the news every day just like I do. They need help and it's my job to help them," the call had come earlier that morning. They were pulling people from the reserves, hoping they could aid in the battle currently being fought, being lost. His name was one of the firsts to be picked.

Jack hadn't had the heart to tell me he was leaving that night. Only now finding it within himself to explain why he was saying goodbye. A mere two hours before his departure.

" You didn't have a problem when I first joined the reserves," he reminded me gently. Chocolate brown drifting up, shadows dancing in muddy lakes.

" There wasn't a war happening when you first joined!" Scream ripping from my aching throat, cracking. My nails nestling into my palms, leaving angry stamps of shallow crescents. My body beginning to tremble," I... I th-thought... I did-n't think," his hand cool against my burning flesh. Brushing away my tears.

" Neither did I, but it is. Baby, I don't have a choice. We both knew this could happen," his forearm pressing to my waist, tugging me into his strong chest. My head tilted slightly, meeting his plush lips. I savored it, savored him. The pad of his thumb tracing the curve of my cheek. Barely pulling away," promise me you'll wait for me. Corbyn, I need you to promise."

" Why would I wait for you?" The venomous words spat from my lips. This was all his fault, he was the reason it hurt so much. It had to be because I didn't know who else to blame," all you're gonna do is die. I'm not making promises to a dead man," I yanked away from his touch, my body left cold without his. I ignored the way his entire body seemed to go limp, the way his features screwed up with pain. The way he seemed to break before my very eyes. I ignored all of it. I had to.

His look. It haunted me. It still does. The endless void that had swallowed beautiful brown. The way all their light seemed to leak with his tears.

The way his arm had fallen. Dangling at his side. Limp. Pale. Just like the rest of him, almost as if his blood had just... disappeared.

His noise. That awful, pathetic noise. It was akin to a whimper. So soft it barely stirred the air closest to his lips. So broken I could only assume it was his heart's finally plea as it shattered. Still trying to convince me. Hoping his pain would coax me.

But I had wanted him to hurt. I wanted him in just as much pain as I had been. A part of me hoping he would break. Hoping that maybe, if he did... he wouldn't leave me.

Everyday I wonder if it was my fault. I wonder, if I had just promised him, if I had given him something to come home to, a reason to fight. Would he... would he have come back to me?

If I promised him I would wait. Promise to still love him by the war's end, would he be with me now?

If I had just answered his letters. If I hadn't been a stupid fucking idiot and blamed him. Blamed him for a war he didn't cause. For a decision we both made. Would our bed be full?

Would the nights be warmer? Would the pain stop? Would the voices?

The ones that whispered to me. The ones that filled each silent moment. The ones that blamed me. Telling me it was all my fault. Telling me it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that I was alive, but he was dead. Telling me if I were dead, he wouldn't be. Telling me again and again that I was no better than the soldier that shot him. Than the ones who abandoned him. The ones that had assumed it was too late. That had let him bleed out, alone and afraid. Than the ones that let him die.

Those voices had brought me here. To the cold, empty floor of our bathroom. Where the ringing silence was broken only by them. Where the heavy, slick weight of the pistol was almost too much for me to bear.

The metal shimmering, streaks of white racing down its muzzle. Leaping from the head, splattering onto freezing tiles.

Though, a part of me, the same sick part that had wanted Jack to hurt all those months ago, found it comforting. Comforted by the idea of ending the pain. Of being with him, just one more time.

I couldn't live without him. Once just a phrase I would whisper low after a night of passion. Or in the dead of night, where only the stars seemed to be listening. Had I meant it? Truly meant it? I had never imagined a world without him. There was never any point. He had always been there.

Always by my side. With the stupid, big, charming grin. And those stupid eyes that sparkled like a thousand night skies.

His strong, safe arms always around me. Keeping me close. Keeping me warm.

His gentle purr always right in my ear. Cooing sweet nothings meant for me, only me. Whispering I love you, I always will.

He was here now, I could almost feel him. His hot, sweet breath against the side of my face," do it, Baby. Do it and we'll get to be together again."

" Aren't you mad at me?" Voice weak, shaking. My throat screaming at me, shut the hell up! Raw from weeks of tears, of chocked sobs. Of helpless cries.

Jack has only been dead a few days.

" Of course I'm not. I know you didn't mean it. I know you love me," his ghostly warmth shallow, chilling. Leaving my blood hot, but my skin cold," all you have to do is pull the trigger. Just like I taught you. Remember?"

The memory left me empty. The gentle warmth of his kiss. The feeling of plush lips against my forehead," I just want you safe," I could almost hear him whisper. Voice full, loving. Nothing like the one now," if anything ever happens. You need to be able to protect yourself."

" I-I remember."

" Good, Baby. Then just press it to your temple," something dark guided my hand. Spine left trembling in the wake of a passing shudder. The metal, it was so cold.

" A-and... we'll g-get to be to-together? Pro-mise?" I clung to his phantom warmth. The trigger seeming to fight my finger.

" Of course, Baby. I promise. I'll get to hold you and kiss you. I'll get to love you and the pain'll stop. Isn't that what you want?"

" More than anything," the bath's porcelain supportive, holding me as I fell into it. The words no more than heavy breaths on my lips.

" Then pull the trigger. Do it and we'll be together forever and always. Just like I promised."

The curve of my lips weak, corners twitching. The bliss bubbling deep within hot and unfamiliar. Strange, mysterious. Inviting.

" Forever and always."

1256

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Author's Note: 150 chapters, hard to believe it took me over half a year to get to 100, but here I am now. Halfway to 200 in 3 months and 143k reads. Thanks for all the reads and votes. I appreciate you guys, I truly do. Also, be prepared for a lot more death. See you guys tomorrow!