What If?// WDW BxB: Corbyn-Shots

Day 13|| Remember- Jorbyn

Summary: Jonah remembers everything

Jonah's POV
I envy those who can forget
Those who can repress
Who can make a thought disappear
Who can force it down so deep
Those who don't let the shadows of their past creep

I envy those who's dreams aren't haunted
Who's minds don't hoard thoughts
Clinging to each and every one
Minds that doom their being's by forgetting none

Those who would have forgotten the feeling of your kisses
The gentle burn of your soft lips
Trailing my cheeks late at night
Holding me against your chest, always so tight

Those who would have forgotten the warmth of your breath
The slight hint of mint
Carrying the words you'd never dare whisper
The promises you could never keep
The mumbles that you were just tired
That you only needed to sleep

Those who would have forgotten the texture of your skin
The way happiness left you flushed
The feeling of your chest against my back
Your palm on my cheek
The creases writing the words you were so scared to speak

Those who would have forgotten the sparkle of your eyes
The way frozen blue would shine
Alight with thousands of little stars
Glowing in the night
Putting the Moon to shame
Always so bright when you would look to me
As if I was the only thing in this world that ever made you happy

I remember you
Each and every day
The things you used to do
The things you used to say
I remember being against you as your last breath was drawn
I remember shaking you
Not understanding that you were gone

I remember blaming you
For all my sadness and pain
If you had just be stronger
Things would still be the same

I remember the looks of pity
Such a young boy without a father
I remember rooms going quiet the second I walked in
The silence drifting with the winds
I remember lessened punishments and pity friends

I remember stepping through the orphanage doors
Asking to go home
When you would pick up
Asking why you abandoned me
Why they had taken you away
Chasing after your gurney because I wanted you stay

I remember hating you
Cursing your very name
It was all your fault
You were the reason I was in pain

I hated you when I fell to the floor of the shower the first Monday of freshmen year
The heat of the water beaten by my burning tears
I hated you when I begged you to save me
When I begged you not to go
I hated you when I wailed your name
I hated you because I didn't know who else to blame

I don't hate you now
But I still wish I could forget
I still wish you didn't haunt my dreams
I still wish I didn't hear you in every silence
See your face no matter where I go
Hear your voice from every person I know

I wish I could forget you
You and all our memories
I wish you didn't follow me
That I didn't see you in every dream
I wish your smile hadn't made it all okay
I wish being in your arms hadn't made the pain go away

I wish I didn't love you
I wish I could forget
I wish I didn't cling to every memory
Cling to every kiss
Cling to everything about you that I had grown to miss

I wish I would let myself let you go
But I don't wanna forget you
I don't wanna forget what I had
I don't wanna forget how much you loved me
Or how much I adored you
I don't ever wanna forget the little things you used to do

I'll take all the grief
I'll take every drop of rain
I'll take the looks of pity
I'll take each and every sleepless night
If it meant that you hold me just a little too tight

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