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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#187 In Translation

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by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

In Translation by @amaranthinepoetry

When you have a noun or an adjective followed by a gerund, you need a hyphen in between them. Like:

English-speaking
Delicious-sounding

Bit too many commas and an overuse of them. Many of the sentences and clauses make sense without them.

I found this really interesting - I love the personal touch added. It's not boring at all and doesn't dictate every moment of your life like a lot of other works do. It's clear you have a purpose when writing.

Strong starts that really hook you in. Especially that one I commented on.

Maybe change the chapter names since having the title coming up again and again is a little repetitive. Or were you thinking of more of a direct continuation thing? Anyhow, consider splitting this into different sections.

Love the word play with 'In Translation.'

It's/its

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