YOU ARE READING

Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]

Random

CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

#beta #betareader #better #criticism #critique #help #improve #judge #review #reviewer

#207 Fire Me Up, Baby!

25 3 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Fire Me Up, Baby! By @Nicental

I liked the first chapter - you really captured the element of family.

Ellipses only need 3 dots.

I feel like you need a lot more suspense with Wilder/Indy. Carmen explains that he's her crush but she seems completely chill to some extent when he turns up at the door.

Also with the blood and all that, it's a big event so I'm really confused how Carmen isn't making a big deal out of things and is just playing along. You have great potential for conflict here.

Strange that Wilder is laying it on really thick as well, and that Carmen isn't at least a little freaked out by that. I would be.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)