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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#202 Only If Fairytales Were True

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by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Only If Fairytales Were True by @Wingsanddreams

There was a repetition of 'beautiful' at the beginning. Don't know if it was deliberate or not.

Comma splices can be solved with either a full stop or a semi colon.

I'll tag you in a post where I explain how to format dialogue correctly.

Questions need question marks.

Really beautiful writing though - it really fits the theme of marriage.

Colloquialism ruins the mood.

Tense jumps - keep everything in the past.

I found there were some words and phrases that could have been phrased better. Take a look at my comments.

Some typos and layout issues but they were small.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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