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Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]

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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#217 Nothing

18 2 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Nothing by @raynamia

I would show and not tell more (for example the whole scene at the beginning with Matteo begging to meet Priscilla at the ice cream parlour.)

I liked Priscilla - not because she was a horrible person but because she was not cliched or angelic like most girls are portrayed in books. It was refreshing having something different.

More description would have been nice - would have enhanced the writing.

When the two argue over the phone, they mention stuff about 5 years which would serve well as a backstory and will help the argument make more sense. Maybe insert it in the beginning.

Having the story as only one part really doesn't make it feel complete. Write more! :)

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