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#195 Sin Fragrance

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by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Sin Fragrance by @Alissam_

I found there was a excess of exclamation marks. Don't need so many.

Careful with capitals. Be sure to follow the rules of basic grammar.

Phrasing of certain words could have been improved (I commented a few examples).

I love the similes and the depth of them (the one about autumn particularly).

Comma splices - fix these with either a dash or a semi colon.

I feel like we really didn't get a lot of insight into Ann. Maybe expand on this as I felt like we only got info on Luke and Zain. Likewise, all characters could have been expanded on more since they were a bit two dimensional.

I'll tag you in a critique where I've explained dialogue to someone else.

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