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Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]

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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#197 Last Light

34 4 1

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Last Light by @MmTt11

CHAPTERS 4-6

Tense jumps were everywhere - really try your hardest to keep it in the past.

Again, some phrasing could have been improved. Look at my comments.

Why are there italics on certain words? It doesn't fit and it adds unnecessary emphasis to words.

The storyline is seriously reminding me of Percy Jackson. :)

Commas before names.

I felt like the phrasing of "bad guys" made it seem childish.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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