Abigrace by __Carrots__
Most commas were in the right place. Just be aware of the spacing of them.
Don't use fancy words unless absolutely necessary.
I'll tag you in another critique on how to format dialogue correctly.
Very good comparison with Abigail and the paper.
I felt like there was a really big contrast with the way you were using big words and the way Abigail saw things so simply.
American or British spelling - stick to one.
Numbers spelled out look more formal.
I wonder who the narrator is (because you kept referring to them).
Tenses were jumping about (e.g. For the descriptions of Abigail you had it in present, and then for the dialogue you had it in the past.
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Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]
RandomCLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.