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#229 Of Storm And Stormers

20 1 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Of Storm and Stormers by @GiftiFikir

Small typos. See my comments on these.

I really liked the description of the paper falling down like a feather. I could really picture that in my mind's eye.

Careful with springing things on the reader. Take a look at my comments on the crouching for clarification.

Nice caring relationship between Ari and Siden. Nicely done.

I feel like the plate being smashed seems more of a pivotal moment than you made it out to be. In terms of Ari's thinking, I mean.

Love the description of Ari's pulsing energy. Intrigued to see where that goes.

I feel like the scene where Ari confronts her father in the study was a little long. Some points were repeated and you could cut down on it and make it a really snappy, sweet scene.

Well done, though. I like what you've done!

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