Blood Sucker by @lovechild777
Commas before names. You generally need more commas.
Good descriptions although sometimes I would have liked more of it to really show the reader the scene. I commented in these places.
Apostrophes of possession.
I'll tag you in a post where I explain how to format dialogue properly to others (although with you it's just some small issues with action.)
That's all! I liked how Mason revealed his true intentions at the end of chapter 2.
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Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]
RandomCLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.