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#189 The Year Package

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by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

The Year Package by Jumping_Jiminys

I was very petty with this. Sorry (or not sorry, depends on which way you look at it). :)

Rephrase some words. (I commented on these.)

I was confused with who said what, especially at the beginning. Include dialogue tags.

Commas splices were a HUGE problem!! You need to make sure that every. Sentence. Is. Separate.

Noun/adjective + gerund = hyphen in between

Dialogue wasn't formatted right. Make sure you make the dialogue tag lower case.

Numbers spelled out in full look more formal.

Commas before names.

It's/its

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