#218 The Secret Of Tanencha Sy Tyrin

35 2 3
                                    

The Secret of Tanencha Sy Tyrin by @TheLilLion

The writing was well structured and clear. It was also simple to understand.

However, that said, more description would really benefit this as I found there were some parts I couldn't picture. Also, describing the Tanencha as just "energy" isn't cutting it.

Too many commas in places. I tried to comment on some so you know where to start.

You don't need "off of".

Be careful with colloquialism - especially when writing for the Tanencha.

I'll tag you in a critique where I explain how to format dialogue properly to others.

Thoughts in italics.

Overall, a really wonderful start. I think Stella was amazing!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)

Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP] Where stories live. Discover now