Signora by @monica_727
Phrasing was a bit off and could have done with some work.
I liked the solemn start - it fit the mood and the character.
Good one liners.
Take a look at my comments (especially the ones for the first few paragraphs). Use these as a model for the rest of your writing.
Tenses jumped a lot - stick to one!
I'll tag you in a post where I explain how to format dialogue correctly.
Comma splices can be resolved with either a semi colon or a full stop.
Great character development with Zeus.
Numbers spelled out look more formal.
Thoughts should be in italics and also present tense.
Noun or adjective + gerund = hyphen in between
Only flashbacks should be in italics, not the main story.
Love the back story with Agatha.
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Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]
RandomCLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.