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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#203 Signora

30 3 12

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Signora by @monica_727

Phrasing was a bit off and could have done with some work.

I liked the solemn start - it fit the mood and the character.

Good one liners.

Take a look at my comments (especially the ones for the first few paragraphs). Use these as a model for the rest of your writing.

Tenses jumped a lot - stick to one!

I'll tag you in a post where I explain how to format dialogue correctly.

Comma splices can be resolved with either a semi colon or a full stop.

Great character development with Zeus.

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

Thoughts should be in italics and also present tense.

Noun or adjective + gerund = hyphen in between

Only flashbacks should be in italics, not the main story.

Love the back story with Agatha.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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