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CLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.

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#226 Hellbound

25 3 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Hellbound by @Syns-to-Ink

Great description all round - especially of the air in the bar at the beginning.

I found that line about the karma of the bartender's death darkly funny, which is hard to do.

Again, really beautiful description of Lila - it was more metaphorical which made it even more poignant!

I get a general Good Omens vibe from this. :)

Great one-liners.

Some occasional typos but I've commented on those. Other than that, I can tell you've put in a lot of thought and work into this. Wonderful! (Sorry I couldn't be more constructive in terms of feedback).

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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