Letters to a Rockstar

We all fall down

It has been 3 months since my divorce was finalized. And my health was slowly getting worse. Today we were going to go see a specialist and get some testing done.

I sighed and got up and went to my closet. I was living with Remington since he had the biggest house for our dog Molly.

I opened my doors to my walk in closet and I no sooner then took a step, down I went. I felt a massive wave of dizziness and I could not grab onto anything. I felt someone catch me as I fell and I felt the dizziness pass.

" I was upstairs getting ready and I heard you go down. I raced in and caught you before you hit your head." He said as he stood me back up.

I had to quit my job cause of my illness. I was in tears the day I called them. They all came over and gave me a big hug and gave me pictures of me with my tigers and of me with my owls. I was given merchandise and I cried. I hated to leave but I could not work.

I stood back up and I walked with him behind me. I felt steadier and I nodded and he backed up slowly. Watching me like a hawk. I walked in and flipped through  my clothes. My legs were throbbing today and it made standing and walking a bitch.

I found what I was looking for and changed.

I pulled my hair into space buns and put in two sets of chopsticks and walked back out. Remington smiled softly and handed me my phone. We walked out together and headed towards the stairs and walked down.

I looked at my vintage mood ring and sighed a shaky sigh. My brother rubbed my back as we waited to get called.

"Chelsea Kropp?" A nurse with blonde shoulder length curly hair and grey eyes said. I stood up slowly and we made our way towards her. She smiled warmly at us as she waited. She shut the door softly and led the way to get my weight.

"98 pounds." She said as she wrote it down and we walked towards a room. She shut the door and we sat down in comfy chairs. She sat down and asked me a battery of questions and typed it all in.

"Dr. Strickland will be right with you." She said as she stood up and walked towards the door. She smiled and patted our backs and walked out of the room. I looked around. There was skylights and the walls were green and had beautiful paintings by a local artist named Charmaine Olivia. "You okay Chels?" He asked as he studied me. I shook my head and he sighed a deep sigh.

"I am too babe. I am too."

We listened to the soft meditation music and I watched the birds from the skylights. He rubbed my knee and kissed my head.

We heard a knock and I saw a tall, skinny girl walk in. She had black straight, short hair. She smiled and washed her hands and sat down. "My name is Dr. Jennifer Strickland. I am a specialist who practices severe illnesses and rare diseases. Your doctor asked me to run a bunch of bloodwork on you and figure out what is going on." She said as she began to examine me. "Please stand up and turn around for me please." She said as I did as I was told. She pulled up my top gently and examined my back carefully. "I see you have a rash here. Does that bother you??" She asked gently as she lifted my shirt back down and gently turned me around.

I shook my head no and she nodded.

" I see you have been having severe dizziness and pain. Along with drainage from your ears. Your weight has dropped and fatigue has set in." She said as she read over my report. I nodded as I stood there. She turned back around and bent down and examined my feet. She pressed on them and watched the blood. She stood back up and made some notes. "You can sit back down with your brother now. I will go ahead and run tests and we should get results here soon. Since we have a lab here in my building." She said as she washed and dried her hands. "I am going to go get the stuff for that and be back." She said as she left us.

We sat in the room and waited on the results. I was ready to fucking vomit. Remington stared into space as he rubbed my waist. His eyes were filled with tears as we waited.

Our eyes both shot towards the door as we heard a knock and my doctor came in. She sat down with papers and scooted closer.

"I have your results back. You have a rare blood disease called Histiocytosis. It is slowly killing you and you will have a choice to be put in the hospital for treatments. Or to come for them and return home. I am so so sorry. We will release you once the treatments are done if you choose to go. After that you will be required to go to a cancer place once a week for two years. STRONG CHEMO and RADIATION are the only things that can keep it at bay." She said as I shook my head and began to cry. She hugged me tightly as she cried a bit too. Remington got on his phone and excused himself and stepped out.

We released and she handed me some tissues.

" I will have you admitted this evening. You will be there for a week if you choose this. Or else I'll schedule you." She said as my brother came back into the room. His eyes were a bit red from crying and he sat back down.

She explained everything to him and he nodded.

"How long?" I asked

"Two to three years. Four at the most." She said as she handed my paperwork to me.