Letters to a Rockstar

"STAY AWAY!"

We made it back home and they got me settled in.

They were right.

I was more comfortable at home.

I hated to admit that though.

Cause I missed my family and my Ashley. I missed Kellin Quinn and Ash Costello. I missed all of my friends.

"Chelsea, you need to get some food in you babe. You have not touched your breakfast." Monica said softly as she sat down beside me with some coffee.

I looked at the rolled steel oats and my stomach flipped. I nodded and took a small bite and swallowed the mild brown sugar and maple syrup.

I ate half of the bowl before I pushed the rest away and got up and walked out of the kitchen. I made my way to our enclosed porch and slowly sat down and sighed a painful sigh. My hips were hurting me pretty badly today. I had been given some pain medicine half an hour ago. But that was not taking the edge off.

My doctor was away for the afternoon to get some more medicine and supplies and groceries. I watched the happy families make their way to the museums and I cried softly.

Remington had told me he would take me to see The Rolling Stones exhibit before they left on tour. He got busy with tour stuff and fan stuff. And naturally forgot. He had called the morning they were leaving for rehearsal and said he was sorry for not taking me. I was mad at him cause he gave me his word. And in all my years of being around him, he never once broke his word to me.

"Hey Chelsea, have you checked your Twitter feed?? A bunch of people are posting some very supportive and loving stuff. Would you like for me to read you some sweetie?" She asked as she joined me.

I turned to her and laid my head on the back and shook my head. She nodded and laid my iPad down. "Lay down." She said softly as I laid my head on her lap. She rubbed my back soothingly as she rocked us gently. I have always liked her. Ever since I meant her years ago. She has remained one of my best friends.

And to have her living here was such a blessing.

A little while later I was scrolling through Facebook and I scrolled past a picture of Ashley and a girl with pink hair.

I backtracked and looked.

"FUCK!!!!!" I yelled and grabbed my phone.

I heard footsteps racing towards me at full speed as I held up my iPad.

I pushed call on my phone.

It rang and rang.

"Hey baby, how are you.."

"SAVE IT ASHLEY!! Who is that girl with you huh?? I am gone for a fucking 24 hours and you are with someone new. You stay the fuck away from my family and leave me the hell alone. Shame on me for believing your lies. Shame on me for falling for a guy like you." I said as he stayed silent on the other end.

I heard a female voice in the back round ask if he was going to come back.

"Shhhhhhhhh. Please keep your voice down baby. I will be there in a few minutes Jenna." He said with a coo.

"STAY AWAY!"

"Chelsea! What the FUCK are you screaming about????!!! Hang on a second." He put his hand over the phone.

"Baby, I can play with you. I will make you scream so god damn loud." He said. I clearly heard every word. 

Bastard

"Chelsea, this is your fault! You never ever fucked me. We were together for a fucking week. I need.. YOU NEED! YOU FUCKING NEED???? HERE IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN HERE ASHLEY, I WILL LET MY BROTHERS KNOW! AND THEY WILL TAKE IT FROM HERE!" I screamed interrupting him. Monica came racing out with Larisa at her heals. 

"Chelsea! Please understand babe, I love you. I do. I just need to fuck once in a while." He said as I heard moaning in the background get louder and louder. 

"OH I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET PLENTY OF TIME TO DO THIS! KISS YOUR DICK GOODBYE FUCKER! WE ARE DONE! GO FUCK JENNA. SHE IS WAITING!" I yelled as I hung up. I could hear him curse. 

I threw my phone across the deck and it shattered. 

I got up and shoved my iPad down and it too shattered.

"Leave me the hell alone." I said as I walked into the house.

"Chelsea! Wait!" Monica said as I walked with my crutches into my bedroom.

"LEAVE ME alone." I barked as I headed into my bathroom.

I slammed my door shut and walked slowly into my bathroom.

I slammed that door locking it and stripped off my clothes and started a warm bath.

I slipped into it crying out in pain as my hips moved.

The warm water enveloped me in a hug of comfort as my heart broke all over again.

I recalled my hidden box underneath a shelf beside me. I scooted over and grabbed the small plastic orange orient box.

I opened it up and took out a shiny, sharp, silver blade.

I closed the box and hid it back.

"Chelsea, unlock the door honey. Please let us in." My doctor said.

"Alexia, please play Motionless in White and blast it." I said as she obeyed.

Abigail came on as it blocked out the noise from outside my locked door.

"UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW CHELSEA! I HAVE YOUR MOM ON THE PHONE. SHE IS GETTING A FLIGHT BACK HERE." Monica yelled over the music and door.

"Good luck! She can't leave my brothers." I barked back as the music began to play Voices.

"OPEN UP GOD DAMNIT!" She yelled.

"Why?? Nobody loves me. Ashley can't keep his dick to himself. Neither can Vanity. Nobody gives a fuck about a girl who's fucking dying." I said loudly over the music.

**Next chapter will contain self harm again. Skip if this makes you feel uncomfortable**