Letters to a Rockstar

My confession to you

I walked around my house in a trance. I had a bunch of letters to read and only one mattered to me at the moment. 

I sighed a big sigh and ran my hands through my hair. I walked over to my laptop and unplugged it from my charger and walked out to my enclosed porch. Killer followed me out and laid up on the pillows beside me. 

I opened up Word and put on my glasses and began my letter.

Chelsea,

I am sorry for not getting back to you sooner. We have been super busy wrapping up our album and getting our merchandise and tour figured out. This will be a massive tour this time around. Along with Warped. We are all very excited about this album. Andy and I are calling it a rock opera. 

I have a confession. I have found a girl who has stolen my heart. She has rocked my world in more then one way. I cannot bear to live my life knowing that she would not be a part of it. She has had trouble with some stuff here lately and I have had to help her get back on her feet. I never imagined that I would find a girl like her. 

She just makes me SO happy. And has changed me for the better. We have had our ups and downs but who has not? Couples go through that. Love has a way of creeping up on you when you are least expecting it. She is far away but she has forever changed me as a person. She makes me so happy. 

I am sorry to have to tell you this. Knowing how much you have dealt with here lately. I cannot stop how I am feeling about her. 

This girl is you.

I cannot even begin to describe how much you mean to me. Your just one of the most amazing girls I have ever came into contact with. And one day I will prove to you just how much you mean to me. 

I cannot bring myself to stop loving you. There is just something about you. You have just rocked my world. And I don't care how far we live from each other. I will find a way to get you in my life and I will never let you go. There is nothing that is stopping me. You had me in my heart from the day I read your first letter. 

I have written a song about you. Its called In the end. You will be hearing this on our album. I am also enclosing an advanced release of the full album and the single. You will see a movie with a dumb ass. That is me. I hated shooting that movie cause of the long hours and the heat. We endured blistering heat and wore heavy leather. However, the movie is going to be big. And I cannot wait to have the world see the vision that we have created as a band. 

No matter what you think of me loving you, know that its true. Somehow I will convince you. I will in the meantime write to you and give you words of inspiration and love. To get you through this disease. THIS WILL not take your life away. I refuse to allow this to take the life of this girl that has taken my heart. That is not happening. I will marry you one day. 

Love you now and forever!

Ashley

I printed it out and neatly folded it up and stuck it in the padded envelope. I carefully enclosed the two discs and sealed it. 

I said a silent prayer that she makes it to see and hear the music. She was going downhill again and I was beginning to fear that we may not have much more time. There was nothing that I could do to make us meet. We were heading out on tour here soon and I would be unable to write her near as often as I would like. 

I put it in my mailbox and flipped up the flag. It was a beautiful day and I decided to take my dogs on a walk around the block. 

"Tokyo! Killer! Come here! Lets go on a walk together with daddy." I said as they came flying towards me. I chuckled and bent down and snapped on their leashes and grabbed my phone and sunglasses and keys. I walked out and shut the door and locked the door. I set the alarms and fastened the keys onto my belt loop. 

I began our walk and the dogs sniffed the air and stopped and explored the area as we made our way. I allowed them to sniff around as we walked around. Their ears were perked up with the songs that the birds were writing. I slowed down our pace so we could enjoy the sunny weather. There was a warm breeze today and the palm trees blew gently. Causing a soothing rustle in the air. The sun added a warmth that helped soothe my anxiety from the ridiculous video that we put together. 

I adored the concept, I just did not like the whole lack of control. Andy was of course in charge of this whole thing. And that was just plain mind-boggling. I love the guy. But he can be such a control freak at times. We got the video done but we were under a great deal of pressure. And to make things worse, he began dating Juliet. 

She and I were still at each other's throats from the stunt that she pulled in the studio. All of the rest of the guys were floored when he announced he was dating her. I am sure she is not near as bad. Andy would not be dating her if she was not nice and respectable. She did apologize to me about the Kina stunt. Saying that she did that to just get under my skin. And she did not mean to cause such hurt to erupt that day. It was more on Kina's part. Kina had set this up with her. IMAGINE THAT! Kina has been nothing but a bitch ever since I broke up with her. 

I stopped and picked up a unique shaped rock. It reminded me of a heart. I smiled to myself and slipped it into my pocket. I would send it to Chelsea. 

Chelsea will eventually die. I have came to live with that one. She will not be able to survive this horrible disease. I know I have told her that she would survive this. I want her to not give up and try to end her life again. I still have hope she can beat this. I just know that she will die. I have known from the day I read about this disease online. 

There are certain types. And she has the one that will take her life. 

I picked up my babies as we came within a few feet of a bigger dog. This dog was a German Sheperd. She was a sweetheart but I did not want to chance it with my dogs. Her owner was a fucking fox! Her name was Gabrielle and she had blonde hair and green eyes. She did not have a huge rack but she was a sweetheart. She was engaged to Steven Tyler and they were adorable together. She was younger then him but age is not of importance. He was currently out on tour with Aerosmith. 

"Hey Ashley! How's it going?" She said in her soft, delicate voice. I did a quick scan of her body and I smiled. She had on short ripped shorts and a grey tank top and a thin denim jacket. Her hair was in a ponytail and she had on worn sneakers. 

"Good! Just been busy with our current album. How is Steven?" I asked as she rolled her eyes and laughed. 

"He is like the energizer bunny. When he is home he is non stop. He wants us to go away for a month down to the Caribbean. Saying that he wants us to have some alone time." She said as I laughed.

"That sounds like him. He cannot ever stay put." I said as she leaned against a tree and nodded. "How is Chelsea?" She asked with concern. 

"Not good. She is in a state of depression. She is having trouble believing me that I am in love with her. I will eventually meet her and once I do, I will not allow her out of my sight." I said as she smiled a soft, sad smile. 

"She is lucky to have you in her life." She said as her dog pulled to have her walk some more. I laughed at this and we said our goodbyes. I put my dogs back down and walked in the opposite direction. 

"Steven is a very lucky man guys." I said once we were out of earshot.