My world went spiraling downhill in a matter of hours.
And now I am up in heaven recalling all that happened to me.
What happened you ask??
Its a long story.
Psst....I have a secret. I have gotten this book published and you can purchase it on Am...
I arrived back at home from the studio. I went up to my room and changed into shorts and a shirt. Killer followed me upstairs and I smiled at my baby.
I came back down and heard my doorbell ring. I calmly shushed my babies and answered. I smiled and grabbed my box of mail. I shut the door and took the box out back. I flopped down on my couch in on my covered porch.
I spotted a note that caught my eye. It had a seal that Emerson used when he would do his drawings. My heart began to race as I picked it up. I opened it up carefully and I pulled out a taped up note and a picture.
I saw a note in his handwriting.
My sister tried to take her life after writing this. She sliced her wrists and took a bath. We had to call the squad to get her door open. We were seconds away from losing her. She ripped this up thinking you did not love her.
I was shocked that she had dipped to that level. I saw a taped up picture of a beautiful girl. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of eyes I had ever seen.
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I laid it aside as Tokyo jumped onto the couch with a bone. I petted my baby and began to read the letter.
Hello Ashley:
You guys are so kind. To give all your money towards me. I guess that you guys feel like its the least you could do. You made my family cry when they heard about this. You should know that this is not necessary. That money is yours from all your hard work that you guys do. But, we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.
Today I start my stronger treatment. YEP! Stronger! My doctor from back home called my mom a few days ago and said that this disease is causing my levels to go off balance. And stronger chemo would keep it at bay. We begin radiation the following week. I do that twice a week. That will kick my ass for a while. Like you have a severe flu bug. That will last for two days before it wears off.
I am struggling to stay positive.
I am scared.
My hair is getting thinner.
I am scared that this will make life harder to try to live normally. I woke up this morning and I was vomiting. My throat is raw from the acid that my stomach is producing. I am experiencing pain in my legs today. And I am scared that I will be gone when I get the chance to meet you guys. At times I wonder what heaven is like?? I imagine it looking like Olympus from Percy Jackson. Cause that would be where I would be.
I also am afraid that I would not get to date the guy that I have begun to fall for.
That guy is you.
I am falling for a guy who is far away on the other side of the fucking country. Who CLAIMS he cares about me. I read that he does. BUT! Words are just words to me. Can a person really fall for someone who is out of reach??
