*four*

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Camila: It'll be days when I just wanna get my dick sucked... then I remember... I'm a girl

———
Lauren: Ok, name something you have in your bedroom

Normani: A bed

Jade: A closet

Camila: Clothes

Leigh: A dildo

Lauren:...

Normani:...

Jade:...

Camila:...

Leigh: What?

———
Camila: I wanna stick a dildo on my forehead and fuck you like a unicorn

Jade: What... the fuck?

———
Dinah: Bro, I had a dream we fucked

Jesy: Bro, it's just a dream

Dinah: I'm not gay. I wouldn't fuck you

Jesy: You wouldn't?

Dinah: I mean unless you want to

———
Perrie: (Watching the He Like That music video)

(Lauren's part comes up)

Perrie: Aaaaanddd I'm gay

———
Normani: I'm not saying I hate you, but if I had a gun with only two bullets and I was stuck in a room with you, Hitler, and Ted Bundy, I'll shoot you twice

Dinah: I'm feeling the love, Mani. Feeling the love

———
Camila: Oh, c'mon! I wasn't that drunk

Ally: Well, you gave Jesy a lap dance...

Perrie: Asked to suck Leigh's dick...

Lauren: and asked Normani, your girlfriend, if she was single and cried when she said 'no'

Camila:... Guess I was a little drunk

———
Ally: ... and that's how Dinah cockblocked every ship in both fandoms

Interviewer:...

Ally: I'm sorry, what was the question?

Interviewer: 'What's your favorite song?'

Ally:... Oh...

———
Jade: (doing homework)

(Seconds later)

Dinah: (busts in her room) Spare coochie, ma'am?

———
Normani, as a disciple: Jesus! Buddy, look, Lazarus can't make it tonight. He died

Ally, as Jesus: (wearing sunglasses) Hold my wine

———
Camila: The fans call Ally "Jesus", but autocorrect changes 'Jesy's' into 'Jesus'. So, somebody lying

Leigh: Can't be Jesy because she's the most sinful out of all of us

Jesy: (drink in hand) YA DAMN SKIPPY

———
Dinah: (sings) AND WE PLAY. OUR. FAVORITE SONGS. AND WE-

Lauren: Dinah, if you don't shut up with that bullshit!

Dinah:...

Lauren:...

Dinah: I. WILL NEVER BE THAT GIRL AGAIN! NO-WHOA-OH

Lauren: (throws a shoe at her) SHUT THE FUCK UP

———
Lauren: (putting on sunblock) Melanoma? Mela-no-ma'am

———
Perrie: Let's go tanning, guys

Normani:...

Leigh:...

———
Jade: I once saw an albino polar bear

Ally: But polar bears are white

Jade: This one was black

Ally: Aren't you sure you didn't see a black bear?

Jade:... whatevs

———
Camila: (pointing real close at Leigh)

Leigh: Stop touching me

Camila: I'm not touching you

Leigh: I see your finger right there!

Camila: But I'm not touching you!

Leigh: (to Jesy) Mum, can I kill her?

———
Lauren: Hey, fam, it's 4:20. You know what that means

Perrie: Um, it's 4:21

Lauren: Perrie, you're such a fucking vibe killer

———
Jadesy's kid: Mummy, how was born?

Jesy: (looks at Jade for help)

Jade: Um... I put sour cream on your mam's taco

Jesy: (horrified)

———

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