Incorrect 5H & LM quotes (ft. My Favorite Boy Bands)

*forty-eight*

*HEPPY BORN DAY TO MY FOURTH AND FINAL (nuh uh bc I'm a heaux) BABY DADDY THAT STILL OWE CHILD SUPPORT FOR OUR 10 CHIRN... (pull out game weaker than mr. squarepants)

———

Joel: Are you lightning? Because I wanna make you McQueen

Jade:...no, I'm Jeed

———
Jade: When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas. The next year, I decided to get back at him and poison the cookies I left out...

Lauren: And?

Jade: The bloody bastard somehow found out and killed me dad

———
Perrie: I wasn't gonna get a brain transplant... but then I changed my mind

Lauren: You're still an idiot, so the operation was a failure

Jade: (from the other room) Like me, right?

Lauren: Jade, we've talked about this-

———
Jade: You spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral

Ally: Seriously, you need Jesus

Jade: No

———
Dinah: Did you know that pineaples grow on trees?

Jade: Did you just misspell "pineapples"?

Dinah: Yeah, autocorrect, haha

Jade: This... is a verbal conversation

Dinah: (wipes forehead nervously)

Jade: Don't wipe my forehead again

———
Jade: Jesy, knock knock

Jesy: I don't wanna be apart of your stupid joke

Jade:... all you had to say was "who's there?" Why you goin' so hard?

———
(Group chat)

Zion: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE

Leigh: Happy birthday🥳

Normani: Feliz your birthday

Zabdiel: *feliz cumpleaños 🤪

Dell: Happy birthday Jade!😎

Perrie: Happy birthday Jadore

JK: Haaaappyyyy bday! 🎉

Jesy: Happy birthday, Daddy😊

Jade: Thank you, baby girl 😚

Michael: Wayment-

———
Jade: I'm tired of being single

Ally: Then multiply

Jade:...

Ally: (smiles like this 🙂)

———
Kaine: It can never be Opposite Day, 'cause of it is, it isn't.

Jade: (deep sigh) You hairless tarantula-

———
Jade: I don't want just anybody

Jade: You gotta have smarts, class, a sense of humor, and WAP coochie

Jade: I'm talking that, (licks lips, smacks lips a lot, sucks each finger) nah mean?

LM:...

5H:...

PM:...

BTS:...

ML:...

CNCO:...

Jade: What?

———
Lauren: Wanna know what I could go for?

Jade: A fat nut that makes you see Jesus?

Lauren: No!! What the fuck, Jade?!

Jade: (shrugs)

Lauren: Leigh already make sure I have those

Jade: Oop-

———
Camila: Milk is now called cereal juice

Jesy: Camila, I swear to-

Jade: Shh... let her have this

———
(Rap battle)

Akia: Shake that ass, watch yourself. When I come by, better brace yourself. Tell your man you're leaving with somebody else and imma work you out 'til it ain't none left.

Jade: TRASH, SIR!

Akia: What? You think you're better?

Jade: I can prove I am, bitch boy.

Akia: Say less, spit more

Jade: Need to shut your fucking mouth up. This shit right here the main reason for you to get that clout up. I make your honey weak, and don't you dare doubt, uh. Jeed keep it 99, take it and round it up.
It's "Thirlwall", not "Thirlwell". Ask your girl, bet I have her wet like a wishing well. I know that body really well. And when my mouth is parallel. With that juicy paradise. Didn't know what we was doing, but it felt right. From morning, noon, and late night. She left once but came twice

Akia: 😧

Jesy: 🤭

Namjoon:😬

Dinah: 😲

Jade: 😎

Nick: Damn, you got served