*Happy belated to this sexy faceass goddess... #29andstillfine🥵
——— Jimin: You can't cheat death
Jade: I have. But don't tell her or she'd kill me
Jimin:...
Jimin: Please, stop calling Jesy that
——— Perrie: Jes, can I tell you something?
Jesy: What is it?
Perrie: (kisses her cheek and runs off)
Jesy:...
Jesy: That was so fucking gay
——— Jesy: I don't want a surprise party, okay?
Camila: (nods)
Jesy: I'm serious. I really don't want one.
Camila: Gotcha
Jesy: Camera, if you throw me a surprise party, I'll toss your ass
Camila: Okay, I won't throw you a surprise party.
(Jesy's birthday)
Everyone: SURPRISE!
Jesy:...
Camila: 🙂
——— Austin: We mustn't be afraid of Satan... we must embrace him
Everyone: (hugs Jesy)
Leigh: Buuutt... are we just gonna ignore that this faceass said "mustn't"?
——— Ally: Y'all remember Vine?
Nick: Y'all remember when Tik Tok was a Ke$ha song?
Taehyung: You guys remember MySpace?
Zabdiel: IMVU? Meez? Club Penguin?
Perrie: (from the other room) R.I.P.
Jesy: Remember when you had to steal your brother's Playboys because PornHub wasn't invented yet?
Richard: Z-Z-Z-Zero to a hunnid real quick
——— Jesy:... then Leigh told me that Lauren gave Erick an edible and two hours later, he's upside down, wearing a dick and balls costume, and telling everyone he wanted to eat the universe.
Interviewer:...
Jesy: I'm sorry, what was the question?
Interviewer: "When's LM6 coming out?"
Jesy: Ohhh... soon
Interviewer:...
——— Jesy: Mani?
Normani: Yoski?
Jesy: Joon told me you have a Break Up Song theory?
Normani: Yeah
Jesy:...
Normani:
Jesy: Can you tell me it?
Normani: A'ight so boom. Leigh and Jade are together and you and Perrie are together, right? By the first chorus, they all break up because Leigh fell for you, leaving my bitches, Jerrie all hurt and shit, but then they was like, "Mane, fuck dem hoes!" So, when Jade's bridge came up, Leigh ain't like what she said and it made her guilty so you and Leigh break up and Leigh tries to fix things with Jade, but my bitch said, "I don't fuck with you!" And Jade being the ultimate bad ass, savage bitch she is, made Leigh sing what she felt about her. Now, with Pesy, you ain't really love Leigh; you loved that million dollar pussy. As mentioned in Chapter 29. By the way, happy birthday. Anyway, you realize you really, genuinely missed Perrie and told her how you really felt. Perrie tells you to earn her trust back, but you failed and now she got a whole boyfriend.
Jesy:...
Normani:...
Jesy:...
Normani:...
Jesy:... How the fuck did you know that?!
Normani: Wait, so it's true?
Jesy: 😳
Normani:... Y'all gay
——— Someone: Hey-
Jesy: Make like my girlfriend's song and give me 50 feet.
Lauren: (wraps arm around her) Period
——— (Messages)
Camila: I'm wet🥵
Jade: Ew...Why?
Camila:
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Jade:... Damn
Camila: I'm so fuckin gay
Jade: On Jah
——— Jesy: This quarantine got me fucked up when I just wanna be fucked
Jade:
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——— Ally: I'm so hungry
Jesy: (smirks) I know what you can eat
Ally:... What?
Jesy: (licks lips) This cheesecake
Ally:...Come here, you
———
(The Ungodly Hours album by Chloe x Halle is FYE... Forgive Me, Baby Girl, and Wonder What She Thinks Of Me are BPE bops)
