The Fifth (James Potter X Reader)

Making Things Right

My hands shook nervously as paced in front of the Leaky Cauldron. Today was the day I had scheduled the meeting with my mum. I had told her to arrive here around eleven in the morning, but me being me arrived a few minutes early in hopes of calming my nerves.   

"Relax, love. You'll wear out the floor at this state." James said as he leaned against the wall. I stopped only for a moment to glare at him, before returning to my pacing. Millions of thoughts raced through my head. What if she shows up and she's just like she was when I was younger? What if she yells at me? What if she yells at James or Lily? When it was clear I wouldn't halt in my pacing James let out a groaned and moved to my side. He placed his hands on both my shoulders keeping me in place. 

"Love, calm down." He said in a soothing voice. 

"What do you mean calm down? I can't calm down. So many things could go wrong. You've never seen her when she's angry. What if she causes a scene? What if she starts yelling or.... or hurts one of you? What if-" I began to ramble but before I could finished the red headed witch stopped me.

"Nothing is going to happen. We'll be right there with you." Lily said as she to came to my side. True to her word she had come to support me and I couldn't have been happier. Sirius was here to, but was currently at Zonko's stocking up on it's newest arrivals. It's Sirius what do you expect. 

"Yeah, we'll be just a few tables over. We'll give you two some privacy, but if you need us we'll be at your side quicker than you can say Quidditch." James said with a smile. I returned it and let James pull me into his chest. I rested my head on his chest and somehow the sound of his heart beat helped calm my nerves. 

"Thanks you guys. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here." I mumbled as my arms snaked around James's middle. Lily patted my back and without even looking I knew she was smiling. After a few minutes I pulled away from James and together we started talking quietly, but soon James and Lily was called to their table. They both gave me one last look of reassurance before walking off into the pub. It wasn't long after that, when she came. 

For the first few minutes of seeing her I barely recognized her. Her usually unkempt h/c hair now looked silky and was styled up in a neat bun. She was no longer dressed in rags, but now in more business formal f/c robes. Her skin was positively glowing and her once sunken and dull eyes were lively and big. She looked like the woman I had seen in all the photo's of my father. My whole body was frozen as I watched her eyes slowly scan the crowd trying to find me. I swallowed thickly before walking forwards and raising my hand to get her attention. Once she finally noticed me, her body froze as well and a mix of guilt and fear leaked into her eyes. Pushing past my nerves I walked forwards until I was only a foot away from her and smiled calmly trying to ease some of the tension. 

"Hey mum." I said cautiously. She smiled as well and intertwined her hands in front of her, something I noticed we both do when were nervous. 

"Hello Y/n." She said nervously. We both stood in silence for a little before I cleared my throat and motioned towards the Leaky Cauldron. 

"We should probably get inside." I said with a small smile. She returned it before following me into the pub. I looked around the pub and relaxed a little when I saw James and Lily sitting in a booth close to the one we were going to. The two looked on wide eyed, their eyes never leaving my mother's form. They definitely weren't expecting her. I led her to the booth and we both sat down. After ordering our drinks we both sat in complete silence unsure at all of what to say. After what seemed like forever my mother let out a shaky exhale, not meeting my gaze. 

"I know what I did was absolutely horrible and monstrous. And that you will most likely never forgive me and I never expect you to, but I just want to amends," She said quietly," I want you to know how sorry I am for everything I did and it eats me away everyday to think about how much I made you hurt and cry. I have no excuse for what I did, but as I said before your father was..... everything to me. When he died I was so lost and just the prospect of having to live on without him to make me smile or never being able to listen to him ramble on about crazy conspiracies of the muggle world. When he passed a piece of me went with him and I had no idea how to deal with the pain and unfortunately you were the only way my grief riddled mind could release. I love you with my whole heart and I only realized how much you meant to me when you left. Just the thought of you being somewhere I have no idea where shook me to my core and I finally woke up and realized my mistakes. I knew I had to change and prove myself to you. I know you will never forgive me and I don't blame you, but just know that I do love you and if your willing I want to try to repair what I've broken."

I was at a loss for words as I tried to process what she had just told me. A small part of me wanted to scream at her to make her understand what I went through for sixteen years, but a bigger part of me was more relieved. All I had wanted in my childhood was my mother. A mother that I had only faint memories of and small glimpses of in photos and finally I had a chance now. She was finally back. 

"I.... I can understand." I said quietly looking at the mug of Butterbeer in front of her. 

"What?"

"I can slight understand. The fear and sadness of losing someone you love," My mind raced back to the memory of James plummeting through the air after he was hit with that stray Bludger," So many things rush through your mind, but the main one is just pure terror. You want to do anything in your power to protect them yet you feel so helpless. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost James. But I can understand where your coming from at least, but what you did was wrong. So wrong. You took away the childhood that dad fought so hard to give me. I lived in constant fear and confusion. I always blamed myself for what happened and it took so long for me to push away that guilt. It killed me." It was at this point when I finally looked up at my mum. Her eyes were full of tears and she looked so guilty. My eyes were also full of tears, some escaping." But.... I'm willing to try and build back those bridges. We finally have a chance to have that relationship that dad would have wanted for us and I'm willing to try and move past what you did to get it. If you are."

I watched as a grin grew on my mum's face and she let out a small laugh. She nodded and tears began to slip down her cheeks. 

"Yes, that's more than I deserve." She said. I smiled and wiped the tears out of my eyes before reaching out and placing my hand atop hers. She flinched, but slowly relaxed. After a minute an idea sprung into my head and I retracted my hand. 

"Would you like to meet two people very special to me?" I asked with a hopeful smile. She raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of her Butterbeer. 

"Is one of these people this 'James' you talked about?" She asked in a playful tone. I chuckled and stood from the booth.

"You'll see." I said before looking over at James's booth. The two were already looking at the booth I was in and was clearly expecting a fight between me and my mother, but I quickly reassured them that everything was amazing. I smiled brightly a waved them over. The two walked over quickly and stopped once they reached the booth. They both looked awkwardly at my mother and kept quiet. 

"James, Lily this is my mum. Mum this is my best friend Lily and my boyfriend James." I said motioning between the two. My mum smiled and stretched her hand out to Lily. Lily hesitantly shook her hand and smiled politely. 

"Hello, I'm M/n, thank you so much for making my daughter so happy." She said as she moved to shake James's hand. After the introductions were over I let James into the booth and sat in between the two. While I listened to Lily and my mum talk about the Ministry I felt James's hand slip into mine. A smile creeped onto my face as I intertwined our fingers. I turned my head to face him before pressing a kiss to his cheek before laying my head on his shoulder. Just as Lily was about to ask my mum about her job I couldn't help, but notice as her eyes slowly looked over me and James and a bright smile spread across her face before going back to listen to Lily.

Maybe this could be saved.

Maybe I can finally have my mum back.

Only time can tell.