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January 6th, 2020
I stood outside my father's room as I held my arms close to my chest. I was debating rather or not I wanted to go in and see him on what could possibly be his death bed. I know if he were to pass and I wasn't able to feel his warm hand again or see him take a breath I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
"Ryan I don't think I can do this." I tried to walk around him but he grabbed me back by my arm bringing me back in front of him. He cupped my face in his hands making me look in his eyes. "Baby yes you can. You don't want to regret this." I nodded as he pecked my lips. "I want you to come with me."
He nodded and took my hand leading me into my father's room. He had all these different tubes coming out of him and wires hooked to him. I walked slowly over to him letting Ryan's hand go. "Dad." I spoke lowly as I just rubbed my hand over his as the machines beeped.
"You're not supposed to be like this. Your strong and my protector. What will I do without you? I love you so much daddy." I gripped his hand sitting in the chair that was next to his bed. "You can't leave me." My vision became blurry as I wiped my eyes. "You know I hate to cry now look at me like a waterfall." I laughed softly looking over his body. "You can come back from this you're a fighter dad. You'll walk out of here like nothing happened and go back to your company like nothing ever happened. You'll walk Kayla down the aisle, maybe even me."
Ryan coughed behind me causing me to chuckle softly. "You'll be able to be called paw paw like you always wanted and keep growing old with mom. Oh my gosh mom. Dad you can't leave mom she nee-"
My father's body started shaking as his machines went haywire causing nurses and doctors to rush in the room. "I'm sorry but ma'am we need you to exit the room." I shook my head as Ryan came and grabbed my hand as I stood up pulling myself towards my dad. "Ryan I can't leave! Dad!" Ryan softly wrapped his arms around me walking me out as I tried getting out of his arms by kicking and hitting his arms. "I can't leave my dad! I can't." At this point tears were flowing down my face and soaking Ryan's shirt.
He walked all the way out to the waiting room as my mom and aunt ran past us. Ryan sat me down in one of the chairs. I went to stand up but Ryan softly pushed me back down. "Baby please let them do their job. They can help him." I sighed deeply gripping the arms of the chair as the tears continued to run down my face. Ryan bent down so he was eye level with me. I just looked at him before burying my face in his shoulder. "Ryan what am I going to do?" I managed to get out between sobs.
He wrapped his arms around my stomach as I wrapped my around his shoulders gripping his shirt as I continued to cry. "Kelis babygirl I don't know love nobody does but whatever it is you will get through it we will get through it together."
The double doors swung open and Kelis' mom and aunt walked from the back as we all stood up. "He had a minor seizure, it didn't affect anything which is good but it's still touch and go." My aunt Nikki spoke as my mother sat down next to me and I laid my head in her lap. "Go home sweetheart. I'll stay here with the pastor and your aunt. We will keep you updated. You can't stress yourself out again you need to stay healthy." I nodded my head sitting up.
