After Eternity

Chapter 13

I.

As she closed the door, James noticed all the papers scattered on the living room table and her laptop was on. He concluded she must have been reading and taking notes for her PHD, the reading lamp was on and a couple of pens and pencils spread all around. That was the scenery of someone who was seriously working.

"Seems like I am interrupting," He said looking back at her, but Diana smiled.

"No..." She said taking the glasses off and resting them on the table near all the messy articles scattered over it. "I was feeling tired...." Then she looked at him and they stared at each for a few seconds in silence. James shoved his hands on the pockets of his jeans unable to utter a word and she noticed traces of tiredness on his face and also of concern. His lines were those of a stressed person and somehow that disquieted her. He was a stranger to her, and she wanted to run a hand over his face to calm him down. Why did she feel that need to protect him? She didn't understand... So many things confused her.

"So..." Diana told him breaking the silence. Maybe that would help. Clearly something was bothering him, or he wouldn't have driven there. "James..." She almost whispered his name to encourage him.

"I..." He started but then looked back and sat on the couch. He rubbed his sweaty palms over his jeans feeling nervous. He just didn't know where to start. Should he apologize first? Diana remained still on the same spot. She had just crossed her arms around her chest and his eyes raked her from toe to head. A soft smile formed on his lips as he acknowledged her pink pajama. She was barefoot, legs also crossed. Her fingers tapped softly on her arm while she waited. She's so beautiful, he thought that very moment.

"James?" She called again knowing he wasn't going to say anything. Diana pulled a chair and placed it in front of him, sitting right after. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. She felt more protected that way.

"I am sorry for what I told you." He said first. "I apologize for my behavior. I had no right to tell you the things I did." James sounded sincere and she appreciated that.

"It's ok." She said feeling a little condescending with him. "I know our situation is far from normal... I know that. Don't think you are alone in this." Diana needed to let him know that she felt all that he felt. When he was distressed, she was distressed. She felt his emotions, but she didn't want to scare him more. Not even she understood how that was possible.

"I need control, Diana." He said bending over, resting his elbows on his knees so he could face her closer. "When I feel I am losing control, like in this, I tend to shun people and you scare me. You scare me so much..." He shook his head to make his point more valid.

"You hurt me." She told him. "And I know this is nonsense, but it felt to me it wasn't the first time I was being put aside by you. I haven't done anything to cause you that reaction."

"There are many things about me that you don't know..." He breathed.

"Like what?" She asked. He shook his head silently. "You don't want to say?"

"No..." He breathed. "Diana..." He looked in her eyes again and went silent. Her stare was so familiar. Shaking the thought away, he continued. "I was at home trying to have a quiet night and I had these voices echoing in my head to come here. I left my house determined to go somewhere else and still I drove here, almost automatically. I stopped at your door..." Diana nodded.

"I felt you." She told him.

"How?" He asked.

"There's always this musk scent when you are near." She confessed.

James threw himself back on the couch and crossed his fingers behind his head. Momentarily his eyes started at the white ceiling and he puffed. She also felt him. The same way he felt her. How could that be? She smells me... he thought. Then he felt her hand landing softly on his knee and he looked at her. That simple touch sent shivers up his body, and it was just a simple touch nothing else. There was nothing sexual about it. It was like a friend touching another and still he felt it otherwise. He controlled himself not to let her know how shaken he became but he also felt her hand tremble a bit.