After Eternity

Chapter 60

I.

London...

27th February.

Constantine rested his laptop on the desk and walked up the window, sinking in the glorious view from the presidential suite of the Four Seasons. The day was coming to an end and the sky was tad dark, but it was no longer raining. The rush hour brough the usual chaos to the streets but seeing the movement from inside that suite was like watching a mute movie. Nothing could be heard, but he could imagine the noise of the engines, the voice of people talking to one another. The noise of feet tapping as people ran to catch the bus back home. He could imagine all city sounds from up there. Constantine stood there with the hands shoved in the pockets of his ironed black trousers watching the sky for a while. The strong wind making the clouds travel from one place to another but not alleviating the heavy dark gray that colored the sky. On the contrary, it only brough more and more moody clouds over the city. Then, he looked back at his laptop, with a blank email opened and took a deep breath. With his upper body turned to it, he bent his head down looking at his feet. His shoes perfectly cleaned and shinning, but his mind was elsewhere. He raised his eyes one more time and walked nearer the laptop, facing the blank page. Then, he pulled the black leather chair and sat, raising his hand, and placing his fingers over the keyboard with his glare set on the email.

"My loving daughter..." He wrote first.

"Tomorrow will be the most important day of your life and I chose not to be present and I cannot forgive myself for it...

I should be the one delivering you to the man you chose to share your life with and not one of your new friends.

I cannot undo anything of what I have done, but I want you to know that I regret everything. My heart is shattered and it cannot be fixed anymore. I lost everything I truly cared for: you and your mother.

I want you to be happy my daughter. Be as happy as one can be. Be as happy as I did not know how to be. Smile every day.

Know that not even for a second I stopped loving you, but I have no logical explanation for certain decisions that I have made. I am glad now that none of them worked though.

I know that you are having a baby girl. I am quite sure that she is going to be beautiful and as smart as you are. Please, tell her about me. Let her know about her grandfather.

I hope you have found the happiness you have always searched for. I wish you all the happiness possible in the whole world.

I love you, Di.

I will always love you."

When he finished it, he reread everything to make sure he was saying all he wanted to say and then he pressed send. Tears invaded his eyes that moment, but he promptly cleaned it for he didn't want to shed a tear. His decision was made. After, he logged off and closed the laptop and got up, putting the chair in place. Calmly, he walked to the bed and sat near one of the nightstands where a glass of whisky and a bottle of pills was resting. Through one of his connections, he was able to get a bottle of morphine pills without being asked many questions. He was not used to opioids, but he knew that taken in a good amount, it would slow down his pulse until it stopped. It would be like falling asleep. He looked then at the time and it would be an hour until Megan meet him there. It was time. Constantine grabbed the bottle and poured six pills on his palm. That instant, he felt his heart beating fast. He knew it was fear taking care of him, but he wanted to control it. In an act of courage, he threw the six pills on his hand into his mouth and grabbed the half full glass of whisky and he swallowed it all, resting the glass back on the nightstand. Then, he lied down on the bed, resting his head on the comfortable pillow. It was then that he let his tears fall down his face as glimpses of his life passed before his eyes. He had everything to be a happy man and he made all the wrong choices over and over again provoking his estrangement, his loneliness, his divorce, and he could go on. After twenty minutes, he started feeling his eyes extremely heavy and he knew that would be it. Constantine closed his eyes, surrendering to the heaviness that he was feeling on his body.