Watch Me Fall

Drunken words

Sometimes I look around me and wonder why I even bother. I drag my feet and wonder why I am here. Itś too much. I know only suffering. I know only my own confusing feelings. I know that sometimes I just want someone to walk up to me and hug me and just check on me. Yet I want to push those same people away, because they seem like they don't actually want to be here. I feel like a burden, yet I am the one carrying myself. I still am so scared they'll leave. And sometimes I can't get myself to tell them i truly do love them, because itś difficult to. It is too much to try, even. Even people who would see me as just a regular friend, or an acquaintance, I love them, too. I just wish they would know that. I just want to feel appreciated. I just want to feel worthy for once. I wanna feel like I am not just a fuck up. I need that, but yet I sit here in my burrow of sorrow and fall apart. I almost cried today, and the tears were so close. I couldn't do it in front of anyone, though. I had to bite back the pain and go on. But I can't do this forever...