Watch Me Fall

Invisible memories

I feel like crap once again. This sucks. I want to talk to him, I wish I could pull him aside and just find the right words to say to just like explain myself to him. But like always, I know I would stutter and trip on ever word. I would cry. It wouldn't even be the first time. I just wish I could just become good enough. I once got him to let me hug him, but that was only because he was high. I wish I could get that again. He didn't hug back, but it was nice. he was warm, and it was cold outside. I doubt he even remembers, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged tight. It was a quick hug, but it was nice feeling his warmth. I dunno, it meant something to me. I was so happy that day and like just seeing him made it even better. I just wish I could get myself to ask him for a chance. But it feels like maybe he has eyes on someone else. I don't know, even if that wasn't a thing for sure, I have zero chances here. I'm not pretty or smart or anything really special. I don't even know how to do most things. I'm awkward and therefore stuck being awkward alone. I really like him, and I wish I could just stop. But I can't. It frustrates me severely because he wont ever know or give a flying fuck. Why can't I just be one of those pretty girls that guys like? Because even then, I know I would still like him.