Watch Me Fall

Valentines day..

¨Annah, Itś been 2 months since wee gotten together, and im happy to know that I have somebody to love and care about. Youŕe awesome, beautiful, loving, and just a downright amazing person to be in a relationship with. But everything that goes on right now though, isnt right. Something feels off. Something feels like our relationship is about to get thrown out a window, which I absolutely  DON'T want to happen...

I don't want you to think I hate you, or that I am going to leave you over the fact you need a break. I don't. I love you Annah, know that. Iḿ not gonna leave you like that because I can't. I can't just say i'm gonna leave you over a break you need to take. I know you need it. Iḿ not scared to give you something if you need it. You need a break, I got you.

annah...the big concern for me right now is the break. I don't want you to be scared, awkward, or that I'm going to leave you. I understand you need it and there's no need to feel like i'm going to leave you or ignore you.

Don't feel bad, love. Its ok. If you need to tell me anything, tell me. You don't need to hold back. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is what scares me because anything that feels lost and that I know something is wrong, worries me. If there's something wrong, tell me. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just don't hide it. Of course i'm going to ask you if there's something wrong when I see it but you can tell me you don't want to talk about it.

I love you. I'm not mad. i'm not sad. I'm worried about you, you know?

(insert friends names here) all have asked me about it. They all want the best for the both of us and you know that. They'd hate to see us break up. I don't want that happening to us. We're great for each other, you know. I don't wanna lose that. They tell me about us. They know something is wrong. And they're here to help...

Iḿ here for you, Annah. I love you, understand you, and am here to confront you if you need it. Don't be afraid to come to me for anything to talk about ok...

But anyways, I just wanted you to know that I also want you to know that I love you and care about you. We all do and everyone wants us to be happy. I also wanna ask you one more question before you finish reading... 

will you be my valentine?¨

Inside, i'm screaming. Everyone is trying to pressure me in this..

If I tell him yes, thatś lying 

If I tell him no, it seems like thereś something wrong with me 

I dont want to be in this situation and I want to hide from everyone. I wish people would stay out of my business and I wish they would stop asking about us. I told him we are on a break! I TOLD HIM I DIDNT KNOW HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE TO WORK ON ME. I HAVE SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT AND WHY IS THIS NOW ONE OF THEM?! I get it, itś Valentines day on Friday...but so what?! A break is a break...I just need room to breather finally.